INTERNET COMMISSION on Ed's Back
From: Ed Conrad (edconrad_at_verizon.net)
Date: 08/09/04
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Date: Mon, 09 Aug 2004 12:57:55 GMT
>
>
I have just received another stern letter of warning
from the International Internet Commission (IIC) about
my postings to various news groups and I have been
instructed to apologize to all of the people I may have
offended.
>
I hereby apologize to Attorney David Sienkiewicz;
Aubray (formerly gen2-rev), the prestigious Smithsonian
Institution; Penn State University and (three departments --
anthropology, paleontology and entomology); Nittany Lion
football fans; Alan Mann and the University of Pennsylvania;
Andrew Macrae (wherever he is); Paleontological Research
Institute in Ithaca, N.Y.; Roseanna Roseannadana;
the heirs of Charles Darwin; McGill University (Montreal);
University of California at Berkeley; National Academy
of Sciences; National Science Foundation; Larry King; NBC;
ABC; Fox Brothers; Jay Leno; Washington Post; The New York
Times; the good people of Walla Walla, Washington; Anna
Nicole; Harvard University; John Hopkins University and
Allan Walker (no longer there); Paul Myers, formerly of
Temple University in Philadelphia but now at the University
of Minnesota; Osama bin Laden; American Medical Laboratories;
American Museum of Natural History; American Association
of Physical Anthropologists; Yerkes Regional Primate Research
Center and Jeremy Dahl (no longer there); the University of
California at Berkeley; 60 Minutes; Good Morning America;
John Wilkins; Grinder; sci.geo.geology alt.christnet
alt.talk.creationism alt.obituaries, Dana Tweedy, the 6 toed hick;
John Monrad; Clyde Weys, Primo Carnera, Ken Rode, Ross Langerak;
Earl Jones; Arne Vogel; Hokey Wolf; Pithecanthropus Erectus;
Saddam Hussein and Howard Stern>
>
> A copy of the letter follows:
> =======================
>
> International Internet Commission (IIC)
> Suite 751, 17th Floor
> Securities Stock Exchange Bldg.
> 230-238 Wall Street
> New York City, N.Y. 66717
> Aug. 10, 20043
>
> Dear Mr. Conrad:
>
> Please be advised that we here at the International Internet
> Commission have been quite aware for sometime about your
> erratic behavior when posting to various news groups on the
> Internet.
>
> This is your second warning and it disturbs us greatly.
>
> Over the past few months, we have received numerous complaints
> from subscribers informing us that at certain periods of the day
> -- usually in early morning -- there has been a drastic shortage
> of capital letters for use in their headers.
>
> Our intense vestigation has determined that YOU are primarily
> responsible.
>
> Your distusting habit of using so many capital letters in the subject
> lines of your postings has seriously depleted the available supply.
> Consequently, it has been the source of frustration and great
> annoyance to millions of other Internet users worldwide, especially
> in the Far East when it is evening in their time zone.
>
> You are hereby instructed to cease and desist from using capital
> letters with reckless abandon in the headers of your postings.
> Please be aware that your failure to abide by the IIC's
> wishes may well lead to an abrupt termination of your Internet
> service.
>
> Meanwhile, we would appreciate if you would download your computer
> and return -- by Priority Mail -- all of the used capital letters
> (as well as exclamation points) inside your hard drive in order
> to help us >replenish our dwindling resources until our supply
> catches up to demand.
>
> Rufus C. Kingsley
> Chairman
>
> (c) Howard C. Steinberg, Esq.
> Steinberg, Goldberg, Friedberg and McNamara
>
===================================================
>
> COAL-AGE BONES OF CONTENTION
> (All Found Between Anthracite Veins)
> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Smith/z11calv.jpg
> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Petrified/z8femur.jpg
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> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/FINGER/MVC-008S.JPG
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and, the latest discovery, a petrified human toe (with toenail).
> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Au29/MVC-017S.JPG
shown with the petrified human finger (with fingernail).
> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Au29/MVC-016S.JPG
>
==============================================
<
Ed Conrad
> http://www.edconrad.com
>
Man as Old as Coal
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