Re: PUTTING CRIME IN RHYME

From: Bill Snyder (bsnyder_at_airmail.net)
Date: 11/14/04 

Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2004 17:32:13 -0600

On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 12:13:50 GMT, Ed Conrad <edconrad@verizon.net>
wrote:

>>
>>
>> The pseudos, just how LOW can they stoop?
>> At long last Truth's standing up to their group
>> Their brains in defiance
>> To cornhole true science
>> Our poor grandkids, the sad victims of dupe.
><
>Ed Conrad

A moron named Conrad attempted one day
To sell phony fossils to folks on e-bay,
"These verses will lure them," he smirked as he wrote,
"I'll rake in a million and loudly I'll gloat."

"By newsgroup and newsgroup I'll shamelessly spam;
I'll lie and I'll slander to buttress the scam;
I'll sell them a man who is older than coal,
And thereby allow me to get off the dole."

But sadly, events didn't follow Ed's plan;
His rocks didn't sell (and his verse didn't scan).
No one would allow him to plunder their purses;
In fact, all he got was a chorus of curses.

So cry for poor Eddie, of assholes the prince,
Less brains than his boulders, less honor than sense;
For we all must concede (though we wish him the pox),
He's shown us a man who is dumber than rocks.

[Selected items from the "catalog" retained:

>American Medical Laboratories tested this specimem
>using calculus analysis by crystallography and found
>"a composition of dried blood intermingled with a few
>small crystals resembling calcium oxalate dihydrate."
><
>OFFICIAL LABORATORY REPORT
>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/AML/MVC-012S.JPG

That is, they reported that whatever was given them to examine, it
definitely wasn't a fossil. Way to scam, dumbass.

>HAVERSIAN CANALS IN PETRIFIED TIBIA
>> http://edconrad.com/canals/slide1.jpg
>> http://www.edconrad.com/canals/0505160x.jpg
>>
>Additionally, American Medical Laboratories performed
>calculus analysis by crystallography and determined that
>it "consisted predominately of dried blood and protein."
>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/AML/MVC-006S.JPG

So that one couldn't have been a fossil either. Another kidney stone,
or did you maybe cut yourself shaving this time?

>
>===========================================
><
>YERKES CONFIRMS SPECIMEN IS INDEED BONE
>One of the specimens was positively identified as petrified bone
>by the Yerkes Regional Primate Research Center at Emory
>University in Atlanta, Ga., which bone expert Wilton Krogman
>described as "the most prestigious institution of its kind in the
>world."
><
>Jeremy Dahl, one of its bone experts who examined and tested
>it, even put it in writing and signed his name, also making
>a drawing of the specimen that he had examined and tested..
><
>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Smith/YERKES1.TIF
>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Smith/YERKES2.TIF
>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Smith/YERKES3.TIF

And the last paragraph begins: "In conclusion, I do not believe there
is any evidence to suggest that the fragment is primate material." 

-- 
Bill Snyder   [This space unintentionally left blank.]