A ***'s Guide to Keeping it Real

Before I embarked upon my serious academic pursuit of and earned a bachelor's
degree in Black Studies at Kent State University, I was under the impression that
niggerss did poorly in our society because they chose not to succeed. After much
indoctrination I have come to realize that that the the *** is more interested
in "keeping it real" than in succeeding. Now, this concept is rather confusing to
your average white guy - after all it is a "black thing". I will attempt to break
down how the *** succeeds in "keeping it real" in the hopes that greater
cultural sensitivity will be achieved by whitey who seems to be oblivious to this
cultural phenomenon in his pursuit of success and affluence. Niggers are above all
things interested in "keeping it real". It is difficult to define this term but I
will cite examples of essential behavior, fashions and cultural values that
constitute "keeping it real". The ultimate goal of "keeping it real" seems to be
not "acting white". Language is the key element to "keeping it real'.

Your language must be generally incomprehensible and heavily embellished with
profanity. Mumbling will help greatly in achieving this effect. The goal is to
become so enmeshed with this slang and profanity that you cannot communicate in
any other way. This will ensure that you will never get a job of any kind, which
is a huge element of keeping it real. This inability to communicate will also
cause you great frustration in resolving conflict, which will require you to use
frequent and meaningless violence. Eschew all things "white" and see no value in
what white people have and continue to accomplish. If you're not sure whether the
endeavor is white just look around your housing development and see what other
niggerss are doing. For example you heard the key to knowledge is reading but are
suspect that it may be "white". Upon examination of the residents of your complex
you notice an utter lack of books and/or newspapers. You can therefore conclude
that reading is indeed white and you need not worry yourself with reading. Stay on
top of and religiously follow the latest *** trend. Look toward the leading
niggerss when mindlessly following trends.

For example, 50 cent wears a doo rag AND a baseball hat sideways. You should do
the same so you can keep it real. Keep close watch on how these important trends
change. Lace your sneakers only if other leading niggerss also lace sneakers and
keep them unlaced when they do so as well. It would be a major faux paux to mess
up on proper decorum. Do not under any circumstances excel in school. You will be
chastised by other niggers and you will be labeled "white". Place all of your
energy into sports, the latest dance moves and the current form of *** music.
Maintain this delusion that you will make it to the NBA or Hollywood until it is
too late. By the time that you realize that you won't make it you will already be
enmeshed in a life of petty crimes and senseless violence. At this point you
should develop a misplaced and delusional sense of rage toward all white people.
After all it's whiteys fault that you are where you are. Under no circumstance
should you take any personal responsibility. This would be mature and therefore
white. Stay angry and keep it real. Know just enough about history to know that
you had an ancestor that may have been a slave. Blame all whites for this. Never
mind that it happened hundreds of years ago.

Pay no attention to the fact that a small elite of wealthy whites and other
Africans maintained the slave trade. Ignore the fact that it was the bloodshed of
thousands of poor whites that bought your freedom during the Civil War. After you
convert to Islam in prison (the only place anyone ever converts to Islam) be sure
to maintain a healthy hatred of Jews. Never mind the fact that Jews were at the
forefront of all the civil rights initiatives during the 60's. Just hate them and
keep it real. Act offended by all old time caricatures of Negroes like Step and
Fetch it, Amos and Andy and Hambo-Sambo. At the same time continue to perpetuate
negative stereotypes and create new equally ridiculous self caricatures of the
stupid, violent and obnoxious negro like Martin Lawrence, Chris Rock, Snoop Doggy
Dogg, ad nauseum. Never dress appropriately. If you must where a suit make sure
that it is purple or red and has sixteen buttons. In other word dress like a
circus clown.

Wear silly hats and other odd articles that draw unnecessary attention to
yourself. Attempt to get a corporate job looking like this and get all offended
when no one takes you seriously. It's whiteys fault that he doesn't appreciate
your attempt to keep it real through your clothing. Ignore the fact that many,
many blacks have succeeded and landed position of power like Colin Powell. Accuse
then of selling out, being white, being house niggers or being Uncle Toms. Accuse
them of not keeping it real and discourage your own children from following the
path that these winners have followed. Stress the importance of keeping it real
even if it means a life of financial and cultural poverty. Use and abuse the
welfare system and become hopelessly dependent on the system. At the same time
rail against whitey for being selfish and how you don't need anything from the
white man even though he feeds you, educates you, houses you and pays for your
health care through his tax dollars. Never appreciate this and never believe the
fact that in most of the world the indigent are left to die in the streets.
Continue to pursue a meaningless existence that revolves around loafing, playing
basketball, drinking, drugs, the consumption of fast food and fornicating.

This applies to niggers age 14 to 44. After 44 there's a good chance you'll be
dead. Never act age appropriate. Continue this pursuit of games and pranks without
regard to age or responsibilities. It's all part of keeping it real. Fancy
yourself as some one who is in good with God. Go to church occasionally and hoot,
holler and swing from the rafters. Immediately afterwards go out and break at
least eight or nine of the tem commandments. Don't worry about being a hypocrite
because a real *** doesn't even know what the word means. Participate in
frequent, random and senseless violence. Never fight a guy with your fist man to
man. Always use some sort of weapon and always have plenty of other niggerss
present for moral support and to make sure that your victim doesn't turn around
and kick your ass. Make sure that when you use violence it is for meaningful
reasons like stealing someone's sneakers, robbing a 7-11 clerk for $20 and
defending yourself against some perceived and meaningless slight. Kill your victim
if necessary and try to beat the case on some technicality.

Surround yourself with other niggers and develop your world based on what these
niggers believe. Your worldview should be built on the bedrock of innuendo, urban
legends, invective ranting of people that hate whites and TV sitcoms with all
black casts. This will ensure that your options in this life will be limited to
the block where you live. It will virtually guarantee that you will never
participate in the fruits of living in a free and democratic society. But that's
OK because you'll be keeping it real. This is by no means and exhaustive list.
There is so much to keeping it real that it could never be encapsulated in any
book or column but here are the basics:


::Avoiding work::

This is the bedrock of keeping it real and all good niggers should avoid any work
that does not involve dealing drugs, rapping, basketball or some other form of
entertainment. In other words virtually all work. Leading niggers like Fifty-Cent
never worked a day in his life so you shouldn't either. It's not enough that you
avoid work at all cost. You must also take great pride in this. Never act
embarrassed about using food stamps of living with your mother in a housing
development. This should be embraced as an attribute or a badge of honor. You
could take a job, get some self respect and get out of the projects but that would
be "acting white" and therefore not consistent with the ethos of keeping it real.


::Sneakers::

For most run of the mill niggers their sneakers will be their most important and
prized possessions. All good niggers will have to have a pair of nigger-authorized
sneakers. These are only and exclusively basketball sneakers and they must run
somewhere around the neighborhood of $500 dollars. If this means that your
bastards have to do with out food it's worth it. As Nelly said "pimping ain't
easy" and it's particularly costly for an average ***. Obtain those ***
authorized basketball sneakers by any means necessary.


::Guns::

This is a great segue way from sneakers because there's a good chance that you'll
be obtaining your sneakers or relinquishing them at the point of a gun. All
niggers love guns and know that brandishing a gun is an essential element to
keeping it real. But lets be clear about a few things. First of all the guns must
never be registered or purchased from a licensed hand gun dealer. They should
always be purchased in some filth-strewn alley and they must always have the
serial number scratched off in a makeshift fashion. Never practice at a shooting
range. Never clean the gun or know any of the most basic gun maintenance routines.
Carry the gun everywhere in the front of your trousers and brandish it at the drop
of a hat. If you get perturbed or annoyed in the least shoot the offender with no
regard to innocent bystanders. Never hit your intended target. Always make sure
that you cap some 10-year-old kid who is an aspiring rapper or NBA star. Show no
remorse for killing an innocent.


::Hats::

Hats are a must for a *** trying to keep it real. If you happen to find
yourself in the black $20, immediately spend it on a hat as opposed to a book for
your kid or putting it in savings. If you don't have any extra money for a hat,
which is most likely the case, don't fret. A good *** can use some ingenuity
for his headwear. Steal you great-great grandmother's support hose and wear them
on your head. Wear a shower cap, a bucket or a dishtowel on your head. The more
absurd the better. Other niggers will give you props for being so anti-social and
keeping it so real.


::Cellphones::

I can't emphasize the importance of this enough. As a side, a good *** should
never have a regular house phone that is in service but he should always have
about a dozen cellphones in various states of working order. Next to your sneakers
this will be the single biggest investment that you will ever make. Fortunately
for you credit is not an issue when getting a cellphone. A monkey could open up an
account with $25. Unfortunately for you this cellphone will be shut off by the
second billing period. No problem. Carry the dead phone around with you at all
times and carry on fake conversations in public so other niggers will know what a
player you are. A *** without a cellphone is not really a *** and has no
chance of keeping it real. Having a cellphone is one of those things that won't
get you props from niggers around the way but it is essential if you are to be
seen as someone who is keeping it real. Having a cellphone means you're important
and that you need to be reached at any moment. Unless your selling drugs we all
know this isn't true. I mean, who could possibly calling a *** and what could
they possibly be talking about? I don't think I want to know.


::Basketball::

To most non-niggers basketball is a game that is played by boys. It's a great
sport but little more than a diversion for most of humanity if they even play it
or watch it at all. The fact is that about 95% of the people in the world could
give a rat's ass about basketball. The polar opposite is true for the ***. All
niggers are obsessed with basketball. Every nigger needs to put on the fa‡ade that
he has game even if he can't tie his shoes without falling over. To put it into
perspective, every American white boy dreams of becoming President someday. He
wants to be the number one man in America so he purses a variety of different
activities that will make him suitable for the Presidency. Most don't become
President but these boys have picked up hundreds of positive traits that can be
applied to hundreds of different types of careers. All little niggers dream of
becoming men, wearing shorts pants and chasing other niggers in short pants around
a basketball court in the NBA. Well most niggers don't become NBA stars and along
the way they have picked up one skill that can't be applied to any job. This
really comes in handy if your life's goal is to avoid doing any real work and to
remain immature.


::Talking loudly, shouting profanities and arguing::

This is a three for one deal. All good niggers should genuinely be people that
are unpleasant to be around and difficult to get along with. This is another
cornerstone of keeping it real. The key to this is vulgarity. You really need to
strive to be a vulgar person with no regard to the feelings of others when talking
loudly, shouting profanities and arguing. This should be easy for you achieve.
Chances are you already talk loud because everyone in your housing development or
cellblock screams and yells constantly. Swearing should constitute at least 2/3rds
of all the words in your vocabulary. This comes quite naturally to all niggers.
Just minutes ago I heard some *** say to another ***, "man, *** that
mother-fucking mother-fucker." Nice. Now since your already shouting profanities
at the top of your lungs there's pretty good chance that you're going to annoy,
insult or offend someone. This will of course escalate into an argument. You
really know you got this down when the arguing ensues and everything should
involve an argument. Everything in ***'s world should culminate into a
full-blown crisis. McDonald's, the welfare office, the wig shop, the nail salon
and the basketball court are all perfect venues for talking loudly, shouting
profanities and arguing.


Well that's it for today, niggers. Tune in next week when we will address the
following topics: pranks, shucking, jiving, goofing and sleeping till noon
everyday. Until then Keep it Real!


Kickin' it wit' my ho,
-- Deeandre' Babydaddy

The Color of Crime:
http://tinyurl.com/ybhfh7

Here's the TRUTH about black-on-White crime...
http://www.newnation.org/NNN-Black-on-White.html

Niggers "were over 7 times more likely than whites to commit homicide in 2002"
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/homicide/race.htm

Niggers are four times as likely as Whites to Kill their children...
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/homicide/kidsrates.txt

18.6% of *** bucks go to jail, vs. 3.4% of White males
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/crimoff.htm

Black bastards! 68.7% of niggers are born out of wedlock!
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/pdf/nvsr50_05tb19.pdf

62% of ALL nigglet births are paid for by the government.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/datawh/statab/pubd/2319_69.htm

56% of sow niggers have genital herpes!!! See page 21 of...
http://www.cdc.gov/nchstp/dstd/Stats_Trends/Trends2000.pdf

Though only 12% of the population, more niggers are on
welfare than are Whites! See Figure B of...
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa/annualreport6/chapter10/chap10.htm

http://www.niggermania.com/tom/


.

Loading