Cartography a la 'Swedish' Norse.

From: Philip Deitiker (Donevenask_at_worlnet.att.net)
Date: 06/27/04 

Date: Sun, 27 Jun 2004 13:10:00 GMT

Enjoying this Sunday morning folly in Inger Cartography, it
seems that we can create some rules here which explain all of
Ingers map interpretations.

Rule #1. Every error in maps before 1493 are not errors but
mismapped lands the vikings(Norse) discovered. Even obvious
errors and liberties in mapdrawing were somehow inspired by the
vikings/norse (similar in fact to the entire being enscriped by
the hand of god, if you can believe the second then the first
shouldn't be to hard).

Rule #2. After 1493, errors or exaggerations, simply
unidentified lumps of land cartographers guestimated at, and
despite the obvious lack of knowledge beyond certain points on
the earth . . .none of these are errors but key ingrediants the
viking/Norse fed the cartographers.

Rule #3. Hoaxes and Forgeries are never hoaxes or forgeries.

Rule #4. Lands described generations later in lore, never
formally mapped or described in nautical lingo (distances, days,
correct direction), can be ascribed to any error on any map. If
New foundland does not fit the bill, then, of course, south
america or anartica might, what the hell, australia, Hawaii,
alaska. Any of these can be western greenland, or markland or
vinland. SouthAmerica is green, lets just call the head waters
to the amazon greenland. Not mentioning the fact that the first
spanish explorers lost most of their men to disease and
starvation trying to explore it.

Rule #5. In order to make 1 and 4 work, rule #5 allows us to
move any cartographic defect any distance to make if fit lore.
For example Bioko and San Tome can be move 2000 miles to make it
fit as South America, the Canary Islands or Azores can be move
likewise to fit as the carribean. Scandinavia can be moved to
make greenland and Canada. Indonesia can be moved 6000 miles
across endless uncharted ocean to form south america. Japan
moved 2000 miles to become Alaska.

Rule #6. When even these 5 rules cannot somehow make our
favorite theory work, we accept the work of Self-proclaimed
cartographic and historical experts (Particularly those whose
highest credential is an undergraduate college essay) as being
superior to the interpretation of ranked feild professionals on
these matters. What really helps this process is if the 'expert'
is Swedish of the best breeding. Auxilliary to rule #5, the more
the expert refuses to post or disclose the parcel of the map in
question, the more we except his/HER conclusion.

Rule #7. If even still #6 does not work in fixating a location
for the vinland civilization, one can then add one last Swedish
ingrediant, Smirnoff, to the process and everything will finally
make sense (or at least on can sleep on the matter and in the
morning, with good/bad diversions, one should hardly care). 

-- 
Philip
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