>>> FLASH <<< -- PRESIDENT OUT OF HOSPITAL.
From: Ed Conrad (edconrad_at_verizon.net)
Date: 08/04/04
- Next message: Ed Conrad: "Fireside Chat with THE PRESIDENT..."
- Previous message: Ed Conrad: ">>> FLASH <<< -- PRESIDENT OUT OF HOSPITAL."
- Next in thread: Chris Krolczyk: "Re: >>> FLASH <<< -- PRESIDENT OUT OF HOSPITAL."
- Reply: Chris Krolczyk: "Re: >>> FLASH <<< -- PRESIDENT OUT OF HOSPITAL."
- Messages sorted by: [ date ] [ thread ]
Date: Wed, 04 Aug 2004 23:51:50 GMT
<
<
>>>>>>>>>>>> BULLETIN! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Mr. Curtis R. Greenwald, founder, president and chief
executive of Bots-R-Us, was released from Walla Walla
General Hospital this morning. He appreciates all of
the get well cards, especially the one from Attorney
David Sienkiewicz in Poland.
>
>\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////////////////////////////////
Here are three emails -- in order -- I've received from
Mr. Curtis R. Greenwald, founder, president and chief
executive officer of Bots-R-Us, over the past few days.
The company apparently is having bulk email problems,
so he kindly asked me to pass them along.
<
> ========================================
> ========================================
<
UPDATE/s3#178-T/relay/CRG/A#794/8P/=S13-04
UPDATE/s4#179-T/relay/CRG/A#787/9/P=S13-05
<
> ========================================
all-newsgroups/NO-DELAY/WallaWallaWA/9:35am
>========================================
<
<
>>Curtis R. Greenwald
>>Bots-R-Us
>>Founder, President and Chief Executive Officer
>>Bots-R-Us
>>Walla Walla, WA
>>Wednesday, Aug. 3, 2004
>><
>>Good morning all. This will have to be brief because
>>I have a tannning session at 10 a.m.
>><
>>As founder, president and chief executive officer of
>>Bots-R-Us, the nation's leading provider of Internet
>>bots, I am pleased to inform you that the recent problem
>>with some of our disfunctioning Internet bots finally
>>has been corrected.
>><
>>The disoriented bots of talk.origins and a number of other
>>sci newsgroups have been repaired and within hours should
>>again be scurrying onto your computer screen promulgating
>>their message of deceit, deception, collusion and conspiracy.
>><
>>As you know -- and I hate to brag -- we here at Bots-R-Us
>>have long been the leading manufacturer of Internet bots
>>to provide stimulating discussion in the news groups.
>>They have been programmed to overcome a total absence
>>of facts and physical evidence.
>><
>>I applaud our technical staff for having designed these
>> bots who, until the current malfunctions, have been doing
>> a super job for which they were intended.
>>
>>Our only regret is that some eventually ran out of steam --
>> ala ConradBot.v1-- and, for that, we sincerely apologize.
>><
>>Until the problem first surfaced a few weeks ago, these bots
>>had done us proud here at corporate headquarters, successfuly
>>carrying out their mission of defending factless, facetious theories;
>>lambasting truth, and assaulting the character of anyone who
>>dares present facts and physical evidence (contrary to the theory
>> of evolution which we all know, down deep, is a fairy tale).
>><
>>Harry, our chief technician, explained that the brainstem of many
>>of these bots had become disattached over time due to too much
>> daily exertion. But, heck, we had anticipated an eventual problem
>>since many have been chastising truth and heralding fiction for
>>years. And, as we all know, nobody's perfect.
>><
>>Sadly, one of our our most troublesome bots has yet to be refitted.
>>It is Bot.v1Sienkiewiecz who has been difficult to locate since it has
>>been passing itself off as a semi-retired millionaire lawyer and
>>therefore has millions of places to hide.
>><
>>To our regret, Bot.v1 Sienkiewicz continues its tirade of accusing
>>everyone seeking truth of being -- and I quote -- "a coward and
>>a liar," much like a broken record. Our bots have been programmed
>>to be much more discreet.
>><
>>Take it from me -- Curtis A. Greenwald, founder, president
>>and chief executive officer of Bots-R-Us -- we have set a trap
>>for Bot.v1Sienkiewicz and you can be assured that it, too, will
>>be back in our factory very soon.
>><
>>Happily, troublesome wayward bots that have had their danglewires
>>succcessfully refitted include Bot.v9.Dietiker, Bot.v5.Krolczyk,
>>Bot.v1/4.Boikat, Bot.v2.Dunford, Bot.v2.vanillagorilla (Monkey
>>Boy), Bot.v3 John Wilkins, Bot.v4 Howard Hershey, Bot.v1/2.anastasia,
>>Bot.v3.Robert A.Walker, Bot.v1.Stew Dean,Bot.v4 Matt Silberstein,
>>Bot.v6.Ho-Stuart, Bot.v5.Casanova, Bot.v3.Howatt, Bot.v4.Wade Hines,
>>Bot.v5.Raven2, Bot.v6.gen2rev (lately known as augray), Bot.v3/Klivo,
>> Bot.v1.HokeyWolf, >>Bot.v7.clydeweys and Bot.v4.kenrode.
>><
>>You should see them now. They're certainly the apple of our eye.
>>>
>>If there are any questions, please do not hesitate to call me --
>>Curtis A. Greenwald, founder, president and chief executive
>>officer of Bots-R-Us -- on our toll-free 800 number at corporate
>>headquarters. I should be back around noon, after my tanning
>>session.
>><
>>Unfortunately, we still only have one line, so please be patient
>>when you call. As mentioned before, Millie, my secretary,
>>sometimes ties up the telephone for hours chatting with her
>> girlfriend. Just stay on hold. I'm sure you'll eventually get through.
>><
>>Cordially,
>><
>>Curtis R. Greenwald
>>>Founder, President and Chief Executive Officer
>>>Bots-R-Us
>>>Walla Walla, WA
<
>>> ===========================================
>>> ===========================================
>
>>> OUR BOTS' MOST DIFFICULT CHALLENGE
>>> (Petrified coal-age bones, teeth and soft organs)
>>>
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Smith/z11calv.jpg
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Petrified/z8femur.jpg
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Petrified/z5gall.jpg
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Petrified/newtibia.jpg
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Petrified/skullb.jpg
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Petrified/z9lung.jpg
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/brain/MVC-001S.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Newpix5/MVC-002S.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Bones/MVC-006S.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Petrified/1tooth.jpg
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Newpix3/z3dino.jpg
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Petrified/MVC-013F.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Petrified/MVC-012F.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Day/MVC-005S.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Scorpion/MVC-001S.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Scorpion/MVC-010S.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Scorpion/MVC-020S.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/SCORPIONS/MVC-039S.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Tool/MVC-003S.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Tool/MVC-005S.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/FINGER/MVC-008S.JPG
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/FINGER/MVC-011S.JPG
>><
>>Petrified human toe (with toenail):
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Au29/MVC-017S.JPG
>> Petrified human finger (with fingernail AND Petrified human
>>toe (with toenail){:
>>> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/Au29/MVC-016S.JPG
> UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
The Petrified human thumb (with thumbnail)
> http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/FINGER/MVC-026S.JPG
>>===========================================
>>===========================================
>>
>Tuesday, Sept. 16, 2003
>This is Charles R. Greenwald, founder, president and chief
>executive officer of Bots-R-Us,
>>
>This is being dictated, as I am now a patient in Walla Walla
>General Hospital.
>>
>I had fallen alseep getting my tanning session and everybody
>left at noon. I didn't wake up until 5:30 and I'm now red as a
>redbeet on one side. My other side looks like Casper the Ghost.
>
>Unfortunately, because of these revolting developments,
>corpoprate headquarters of Bots-R-Us will be closed for
>about two weeks.
>
>Curtis R. Greenwald
>Founder, President and Chief Executive Officer
>Bots-R-Us
>Walla Walla, WA
<
======================================
>
Thursday, Sept. 18, 2003
This is Curtis R. Greenwald, founder, president and
chief executive officer of Bots-R-Us. And, yes, I'm still
dictating.
<
Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, they
have.
<
I've just discovered that Millie, my personal secretary
for almost 16 years, thought my first name was Charles.
<
I intend to fire her as soon as I get back to the office
and she gets off the phone.
<
Curtis R. Greenwald
Founder, President and Chief Executive Officer
Bots-R-Us
Walla Walla, WA
<
PS: And if that's NOT enough, the nurses have me
standing here in my underwear and every Goddamn
person in the hospital is congregated near the glass
doors trying to get a glimpse of what I look like.
<
<
=========================================
=========================================
Those desiring to send Mr. Greenwald a Get Well card
(no flowers), please address it to:
Curtis R. Greenwald
Founder, President and Chief Executive Officer
Bots-R-Us
Room 314
Walla Walla General Hospital
Walla Walla, WA
99367
>
======================================
<
Ed Conrad
> http://www.edconrad.com
<
Man as Old as Coal
<
=====================================
<
<
I have taken the liberty of adding a few KEYWORDS
just to make sure all get Mr. Greenwald's message:
The Hubble, National Science Foundation, Tarzan,
Philadelphia Daily News, Rosanna Rossanadana,
Dying Breath, Immanuel Velikovsky, Horse's Ass,
Collusion, Johnny Mize, Harry S Truman, American
Medical Laboratories, SEM, Spontaneous Combustion,
Schuylkill County, President GW Bush, Science in
Archaeology, Miami Herald, Evolution, NAACP, David
Sienkiewicz, Middle East. Thanksgiving, 60 Minutes,
Prehistoric, Petrified Brain, Paul Myers, Sen. Robert
Byrd, Chatanooga Cho Coo, Anthracite Veins, sci.astro,
Newspaper, London, TV, Steven Spielberg, Raymond
Rye, British Museum of Natural History, Hollywood,
alt.fan.rush-limbaugh, Hershey Bar, General Custer,
Homo Erectus, Sears & Roebuck, Pottsville, Osama
bin Laden, alt.fan.rush-limbaugh.tv-show and Merry
Christmas
.
- Next message: Ed Conrad: "Fireside Chat with THE PRESIDENT..."
- Previous message: Ed Conrad: ">>> FLASH <<< -- PRESIDENT OUT OF HOSPITAL."
- Next in thread: Chris Krolczyk: "Re: >>> FLASH <<< -- PRESIDENT OUT OF HOSPITAL."
- Reply: Chris Krolczyk: "Re: >>> FLASH <<< -- PRESIDENT OUT OF HOSPITAL."
- Messages sorted by: [ date ] [ thread ]
Relevant Pages
|
