Re: Nanitozo

Cindy wrote:

No, Phil, this is why they don't learn. They ask for a favor,
so I volunteer to help. In this case, John needed a phrase
equivalent to "May I go?" so, I provided a nice polite Japanese
phrase. Then, what happened? He told me to go ahead and be
rude! Does he understand this Japanese phrase? I don't know,
but maybe.

OK, at least you credit me with just possibly having noticed, during fourteen years of living in Japan, that Japanese people use the word 失 礼 differently from the way the word "rude" is used in English.

However, in my experience, many English speakers have a
tendency to fuzakeru during the conversation especially with
me. It doesn't seem to happen to other male Japanese speakers.
It must be it (to fuzakeru) about John.

So you recognised that I was bantering?

Then, if I take it seriously, more than likely he will say
"Cindy doesn't have a sense of humor".

Yes, when I saw your reply that was exactly what I did think.

Therefore, I have to act like a hostess in a night club or a prostitute or something like that so that nobody will be offended
and probably I will be embarrassed and be laughed at by those
old-timers such as Sean and Jim and Ben and the other Phil and
Jeff and so on. You know many male English speakers
suck in their attitudes. It's obvious that they look down on me.

OK, I don't know anything about Sean and Jim and the other Phil and Jeff, etc., but this whole thread was started by someone who seemed to feel that literal translation was somehow more "accurate".

I gave some examples ("If going is good?" "Dekiru watashi iku?") that I think most people would find amusing, and I thought you were joining in the humour, that is, あなたもふざけてると思った (that's "fuzakeru" in the sense of "banter", just in case there's any doubt).

If you were being serious, OK, fine. Sorry I bantered with you. Kazuo Ishiguro writes "banter is the key to human warmth", and if you are one of those people who can't banter I'm sorry for you, but I won't make the same mistake again.

You must have noticed that I have a long thread of conversation
with Mr. Ito. He never treats me like those assholes English
speakers.

Hey, OK, you don't want to banter. I got it. That's enough. You don't have to go calling me an ***.

muchan or Ueshiba-san doesn't do that either. That makes me think
"Why do male English speakers look down on me?" Is it me? Or,
is it because I am female? Is it because I speak Japanese well?
Or, because they have an ED and couldn't have sex regularly with
their wife so they have to take it on me?

Um, hey, I'm not going to try bantering with you any more, OK? All this ranting is totally out of proportion. You don't like bantering. Fine. But once you start calling people assholes and speculating about their sex life, then it's you who are in the wrong. Leave it out.

Or got fired or got demoted or couldn't get an A in a test or
there could be anything, but I don't want them to take it on me.

Fine. I got it. OK, Cindy. I got it.

When they interact with me, I want them to act like those
Japanese guys in this group! That'll improve their Japanese
exponentially.

I learn from people I can relax with, not from deadly serious people who fly off the handle and start ranting in a rude and offensive manner when they think (wrongly, as it happens) that they are being belittled.

I'd like to respond to you with humour, but I can't, because you have made it clear that you don't want me to. It seems very dry and sad, but if that's what you want, OK. You've got it.

John
.