A New Year's Poem For sci.lang

I concluded my presentation at LACUS with a slightly adapted version of a
famous nineteenth century American poem, which you may have encountered
before. It also seems quite appropriate as a New Year's greeting for this
newsgroup--only four words needed to be changed to make it fit rather aptly
into today's world of linguistics.

The Blind Linguists and the Elephant

Six gurus wise of Linguastan
To learning much inclined,
Went forth to see the Elephant~
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, "Ho! what have we here?
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!

These hoary seers of Linguastan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right
And all were in the wrong!

Envoi:

So oft in wild linguistics wars,
Most disputants we have seen,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

This version is close to the text by the American poet John Godfrey Saxe,
which was itself based on a Han Dynasty Chinese poem. A century ago it was
believed that these verses shed light on the various claims of conflicting
religious faiths. But it requires only the slight degree of adaptation
found above for the poem to work equally well for the so-called science of
linguistics.



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