Re: JSH: Confronting my fatalism
- From: amy666 <tommy1729@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 10 Aug 2008 18:39:10 EDT
For various reason I've been looking more at my own
behavior in
looking at why some of my mathematical research has
failed to gain
more mainstream acceptance, and I've had to admit to
myself that I've
been looking for failure, expecting it, partly from
being a student of
history and knowing how hard it is for new ideas to
be accepted but
also because of some personal background I have
brought up years
before, as I was born into a fundamentalist Christian
family that
among other things believed that God would soon
literally destroy the
world, killing every other person not a part of this
religion,
ushering in a paradise on earth afterwards.
As a kid there were times based on what I was taught
that I didn't
think I'd have to worry about graduating from high
school because this
world would probably be destroyed by then, by God.
Oh yeah, also I was taught that the world is actually
governed by
Satan the Devil, who is in charge of all world
leaders, so true
Christians are supposed to be separate from the
world, work only so
that they can survive, and devote most of their time
to preaching to
others to follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ.
And those are some central tenets of the Jehovah's
Witness religion
and while I let go, or thought I'd let them go,
looking back I can see
how my postings have often been impacted by the world
view that was
drilled into me, and it's time for me to just
honestly look at that
and make a better effort to not look for and expect
the worst from
others.
And to not get preachy about my own mathematical
discoveries, I guess.
Functionally, most of that means I will no longer
rant against
mathematicians, math society, or "math people", as
I've done in the
past.
I have no intentions of picking up a renewed posting
frenzy either as
I fear a need on some level to "preach" may have
driven a larger than
necessary posting volume in the past--maybe with all
those threads I
was doing the equivalent of JW's knocking on a lot of
doors--though I
was also brainstorming so it was a mixed bag. Life
is complicated,
eh?
And think about one interesting thing of how I was
trained: I was
brought up to go to the homes of strangers and knock
on their door to
tell them their religion was wrong, as that's what
Jehovah's Witnesses
do.
I was 4 years old going with my parents, helping
them. Later before I
escaped to college, I was a kid facing resistance
from strangers in
arguments on Christ and the fate of the world.
You might say I was trained to do what I did for so
many years on math
groups, and with that training, I have to say, I was
pretty damn good
at it.
Time to let it go.
James Harris
poor JSH ...
really ...
it sure explains alot ...
i just wonder : are you gay and black too ?
or are those just insults from neilist and others ?
regards
tommy1729
.
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