Re: my neighbor's cancer update

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Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 23:25:40 -0500

"J" <plaid@example.com> wrote in message
news:42394B4D.5CA80316@execulink.com...
> Sharon and Mike wrote:
>
>> I am new here, but thought maybe someone could answer a question.
>>
>> I have a neighbor, who has just been diagnosed with liver cancer. She
>> didn't even know she had cancer, and for a year she would have some back
>> pain, not knowing what it was. So she was prescribed pain killers, and
>> no
>> doctor ever went any further with it. It just so happened that she went
>> with her husband, who is in remission from throat cancer, to his doctor
>> and
>> told him of her pain. She asked him if he would recommend someone for
>> her,
>> and he did.
>>
>> So she found out she had cancer cells in her liver, and surrounding lymph
>> nodes. They believe it started in her ovaries. But she kept up a normal
>> life for over a year, worked full time, and wasn't bothered by anything
>> much
>> but some back pain, which was the cancer.
>>
>> They have given her a year with treatment, which she takes once every 3
>> weeks. She says she feels great, and intends to beat it and prove
>> everyone
>> wrong.
>>
>> My question is, is it possible that she could beat it? I am hoping this
>> for
>> her, because she is one who is a very positive person, and loves her
>> life,
>> her garden, her family. I want the best for her, but when she and I
>> talk,
>> and she talks about how she will beat this, I don't know what to say. If
>> there is a chance that she could beat it, then I could be more positive
>> to
>> her. If it were me, I would believe the doctors, but I don't say that to
>> her.
>>
>> So do any of you guys think there could be a chance? She's been given a
>> year, but says she's already feeling better due to the chemo treatments.
>> Her pain is greatly diminished. Any information is appreciated. I just
>> don't know that much about people who survive liver cancer.
>
> Hello Sharon,
> The back pain sounds like it's deep in the liver, as opposed to
> superficial
> cancer lesions on her liver.
> (but I'm not a doctor and obviously not there to read her chart and see
> her
> functional status)
> I would be inclined to believe the doctors. (and 50% do better and 50% do
> worse)
>
> If she feels better on chemo (ie helps more than it hurts) symptoms, then
> so be
> it.
>
> It's a difficult thing to step lightly (being encouraging), without giving
> false
> hope.
> You can say positive things, where applicable such as:
> I'm glad that you're up and around
> Good to see you out in the garden; the garden's looking lovely this year.
> I'm pleased to see that you are still able to (insert here activity -
> work, take
> care of the home, attend church, visit with your grandchildren, go on a
> cruise,
> etc).
> I'm glad that your pain is better. etc.
>
> The last 11 sections here might be of assist to you
> http://www.cancersupporters.com/asc/part1.html
> and as things progress, over time,
> http://palliative.info/teaching_material/Prognosis.pdf (it's in Adobe
> format)
> Chemo may well help some with her pain, if it shrinks her liver tumor.
> Cheno can cause temporary fatigue and low blood counts, so she could have
> a drop
> in functional status but not be near the end; ie rally between treatments.
> There are certain signs like progressive loss of weight; signs of liver
> failure
> which may be more telling of how long she has.
>
> Perhaps that latter file would help you to know when to offer your help?
>
> Again, I'm not a doctor. See if Steph, or madiba or Jeff have a comment.
> J
>
>
>
Dear J,
I took your advice and it worked extremely well. Before in the past, my
neighbor, who is named Ruth, would act as if she were insulted if people
around her didn't agree that she would beat it. So today when I visited
her, I complimented on how good she looks, and how nice her house looked,
and her pretty flowers. This seemed to put her at ease, and we talked for a
long period of time, longer than we have before. Before, I was
uncomfortable, because I didn't know what to say. I watched my father beat
his cancer, which was caught in time. So since she and him are friends, it
was like, your father beat it and so will I. But today, your advice worked
wonders, and I got around talking about natural treatments, which I'm
uncomfortable discussing. She sometimes brings that up to me, but I myself
know that my father was cured because of the medical treatment he received.
So I wanted to write and say thanks, I have a new way of approaching her
now, and a new way to get around talking about her beating it. Maybe she
will, I don't know. If not, I will take comfort that I had a great
relationship with her, and was a friend.
We are from the state of Georgia, and she's getting treated in a local
hospital. She is still doing fine, and other than having to take Procrit,
she still has an appetite, and feels pretty well.
I myself am 35 years old, and have recently found out that my grandmother
died of ovarian cancer, that had spread also. I am considering having my
ovaries removed, my husband and I don't want children. We also suspect my
grandmother's sister died from ovarian cancer, and my mother had hers
removed due to them being so cystic. I would like your opinion on that as
well, I suffer from ovarian cysts all the time, and they are quite painful.
I know you are a very smart person, from what I read, and if you could
advise me on this, or point me in a direction I could go to, I would be very
appreciative. My doctor says not to have them removed, even though he knows
I have problems with them, but it's my body.
Thanks again,
Sharon & Mike

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