confused.....

Thank-you for taking the time to explain in such detail your experience. I
think it helped me to understand that what we have been experiencing is
quite typical and not unusual or uncommon. I wish i could acquire a copy of
"Crossing Over" but even the online excerpts did lend insight.

I think more than anything i am just going to have to adjust to the very
acceptance of the fact that my mom is inevitably dying. I have been having
such a hard time sitting with her and looking at her knowing that it will
not be long before i will never hear her voice again or feel her stroke my
hair. It is extremely painful and heart wrenching and we find comfort only
in being able to do anything we can do try to ensure she is comfortable. It
seems like such a small gesture in comparison to the very many endless acts
of love and comfort she has performed for each of us, in so many ways, over
the years.

I have alot of emotional healing to do and i dont think that i can do it on
my own. I would like to get some counselling but dont know where to go for
help. I love my mother more than anything and have issues, i suppose, with
myself because i was not around her for the most part of my life. I wont
bore u with the details. I know my mother and i still have a very strong
bond and that she loves me. I just want to be able to understand maybe and
heal. If u know or have any suggestions i welcome your imput as your last
post was extremely comforting and brought some relief. (Please note - my
name is Byllie - my email account is shared with my partner Justin and i
never thought of it until my comment was posted). I am in BC, right now
near Fort St.John but will be moving back to the lower mainland probably
before September.

Thanks again for your post - it was very helpful.
Oh! Just an afterthought - my mom is still wanting to get up and go outside
and is still able to sit up and stand if and when she so gets the urge (to
the surprise of all of us). She does sleep the majority of the time but as
u relayed in your experience she will still respond to us if we speak to
her - even when she appears to be asleep. My sister has observed that she
has protrusions now on her back and sides, which we are assuming are her
liver and kidneys. I know that my mother is extremely strong and have
justified these sudden whims (wanting to get out of bed and going outside in
a wheel chair) as proof of that. I know that i am not to put faith in the
idea that she is going to get better, but after sitting by her bedside for
two weeks and seeing almost no movement and just sleeping, with the
occasional request to be adjusted in her bed for comfort, it was encouraging
and heart warming. I was wondering if it is possible that she may just be
holding out for my brother to come and see her before she passes. Is that
possible? Incidentally, her doctor is a little surprised that she is still
here.

Byllie


.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: confused.....
    ... It is extremely painful and heart wrenching and we find comfort only ... I know my mother and i still have a very strong ... Then he kind of fell apart, just after Dad died. ... There's alt.support.grief (newsgroup). ...
    (sci.med.diseases.cancer)
  • Re: Americas favourite past-time - Seattle father 5 kills children (and he did it with a gun
    ... Relatives of the victims - two aunts and a cousin of the mother - ... comfort each other, 4 April ...
    (talk.politics.guns)
  • Re: My horrible terrible no good very bad week
    ... Early Thursday morning she had a stroke. ... he wanted to move closer to his mother. ... My brothers and I were all there for the ... Strength and comfort to your family. ...
    (rec.food.cooking)
  • Re: My Mother Died
    ... Dear Jill, may your mother have a peaceful and gentle journey to her final ... resting place and may you have peace and comfort in your heart. ...
    (rec.pets.cats.anecdotes)
  • Re: 990 Adventure vs. 1200GS
    ... :^) You'll be wanting to sell the "comfort" seat then?.. ...
    (uk.rec.motorcycles)