Don't have kids if you have Lyme/CFS- This is what I also told Nancy Martin, who has Chronic Fatgue Syndrome.

I also still advise not to have kids with Lyme
because no one will help you, and it is excruciating,
because there is so much work involved.

Anyone who REALLY has Lyme, would say
the same thing.

Thanks for posting this. I am going to use it.
Kathleen


ahlstrom wrote:
Cindi wrote:


I'm just looking for some input and support. I'm having "one of
those
days". No, not with the kids -- we don't have any because I've been
too
sick for us to even think about it. Now we are looking into our
options
(adoption, using a surrogate, etc.).

Well, I had my 6 year-old niece for the last two days and every
times
she leaves, I'm left with a big empty place in my heart and home.
I'm
also left feeling like I was run over by a truck. How do you Mom's
with
lyme do it? Am I nuts to think about us trying to raise kids while
I'm
suffering from this awful disease? I feel such an sense of
hopelessness
when I even consider that we may never bring children into our
marriage
and home because of my sickness. What kind of life is this? I have
a
wonderful supportive husband but I can't ask him to do more than he
already is for me (for example pitch in more with kids because I
can't
handle it). He'd rather not add the stress of having kids if it
will
make me more sick. He leaves by 8:00 every morning and doesn't get
home
until after 8:00 each night.

So Mom's with lyme, if you knew you were going to be this sick would
you
have not had your kids? I know you'd never send them back now that
you
do, but how many days do you feel like you just can't do it?

Just looking for advice from the "Mom's Club".

Thanks,

Cindi
NJ

Hi Cindy~

It is difficult at best sometimes to not feel the gut wrenching guilt
that goes along with being a lymie mom. But I do not think that I
would
trade any of these three beauties ever. They have been what keeps me
getting up in the morning and the peace I take to bed with me at
night.

I have a 16 year old boy, an 11 year old girl and an 8 year old boy.
They are all at different stages in their growth. The common factor
amongst them all is that they are all very nice human beings. I see
the
fruits of this disease, if you will, in them. Compassion for others,
greater understanding and empathy for people and a warmness that
cannot
be matched.

Cindi, don't deprive yourself of the joy of another human being
because
of this disease. I greatly enjoyed the responses of the other mothers
who said how very much they love their babies also.

In time, the right answer shall come to you. It always does. I will
be
praying for your wisdom, strength and guidance for this decision.

Warm Regards,
Kelly in NJ

I'm a witch. The kids have a miserable life.

I just spent the entire week stuck to the carpet.

The Lyme kids are always miserable. The one
who doesn't seem to be sick, causes trouble all
the time. The house is an absolute mess. There
is no food (milk or bread or fresh food)
in the house. The kids have nightmares. We live in a
dump. We look like we live like trash from the outside
and inside. Then refridgerator door is broken and
the whole house smells like the wine vinegar
(which probably hadn't been opened in three years)
which spilled and I don't have the energy to
wash the whole refridgerator...

I ask for help from their father and he ignores me.
(At least he moved back from Kentucky so he
can take them on weekends now. First time
in 4 years (the youngest is 4 and the oldest is 8).)

I ask for help from the state and they say we aren't
dysfunctional enough (I don't have a drug abusing or
physically abusive boyfriend who hangs around so I don't
fit into any category of need).

I keep forgetting appts. The schools are always
yelling at me over this missing paperwork and
that.

The kids really don't have a life at all.
I never had the energy to even read to them.

And they'll never become involved in any
after school activities. I don't have the energy
and resources to participate in anything.

I would say not to involve yourself with kids.

Nothing anyone can tell you will ever prepare
you for the amount of work one kid is, even
for a Mom who is not sick.

Not a good idea to be a Mom with Lyme.

But if someone had told me when I made
the decision I would have not taken their
advice. I thought I was tough and had
a lot of endurance, because I was an endurance
athlete before (and after, for a while) Lyme.
And a work-a-holic.

Still, kids are more work than you can ever
imagine. With Lyme, you feel like you can't come up
for air. Ever.

Sorry to be such a bummer, but I
did not do a smart thing, having kids.

I must honestly say I did them no favor
by bringing them into MY life.

Kathleen

.