Re: Broadcasting McSweegan's Crimes

McSweegan, you will recall, is the NIH's Infamous "DO NOTHING"
novelist. I will copy in McSweegan's sicko "Obsession" story below this
complaint to the FBI and the US Attorney's office.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/06/26/eveningnews/main560528.shtml

From: kmdickson@xxxxxxxxxxx [Add to Address Book]
To:
thomas.carson@xxxxxxxxx,fbinhct@xxxxxxx,tb-petitions@xxxxxxxxx,ngochr@xxxxxxxxx,vice_president@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,comments@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,spinlyme@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx,thomas.ryan@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,attorney.general@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,kevin.kane@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,dr-ahamadinejad@xxxxxxxxxxxx
Cc:
spinlyme@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx,abuse@xxxxxxxxxx,abuse@xxxxxxxxxxx,letters@xxxxxxxxxxx,dhaar@xxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Anonymous INternet Harssment using an anonymous
remailer...Re: Same address for "hung like a horse" post as the Lacy
Peterson Death threat post...Re: Anonymous Internet Harssment and Lyme
is a Bioweapon (US Army says so)
Date: Thursday, October 05, 2006 09:18:10 Thu, 05 Oct 2006 13:18:10
+0000 [View Source]


Anonymous Internet Harassment using an anonymous remailer:


Notice that "Chuck" uses an anonymous remailer in his story about how
women who
have children with Lyme disease, have put ticks on their children,
themselves,
in his "Obsession" story, in which he also pretends to be a woman (Ed
has
serious sexuality/mysogyny issues):
http://www.actionlyme.org/MCSWEEGAN_AND_MUNCHAUSENS.htm

McSweegan was also at the Jan 31, 2001 FDA LYMErix vaccine meeting and
later
posted this anonymously, using a remailer:
http://www.actionlyme.org/McSweegan_Stalking_Feb_2001_38a561b9b28962b5.htm

That was after I told the FDA that LYMErix was bogus
because they used a bogus blood test to qualify it and that Yale and
SmithKline
illegal threw out vaccine failure data as "unconfirmed Lyme"
http://www.fda.gov/ohrms/dockets/ac/01/slides/3680s2_11.pdf


The SPECIFICITY of each antibody to Lyme is ACCURATE for diagnosis.
If you require 5 SPECIFIC antibodies to be present, when, as Steere
says, these
antibodies evolve over time, that decreases the ACCURACY of the test,
or misses
more cases.

Steere himself said these antibodies appear over time, and that new IgM
was
diagnostic of persisting infection:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=PureSearch&db=pubmed&details_t
erm=3531237%5BUID%5D

The opposite is what we now have as a test for Lyme, that the CDC
claims is
accurate but is NOT according to the FDA rules for a method validation.
What we
have now for a Lyme test is like saying I cannot be white female unless
I have
blond hair, am shorter than 5'-4," and have a certain level of estrogen
in my
blood.

The entire STUPID idea for a Lyme vaccine for a relapsing fever
borreliosis was
Ed McSweegan's, as you can see from his harassing letter to Senator
Barry
Goldwater, where he not only exposed the fact that the Navy experiments
with
illegal nerve gas, but that the US Navy was incompetent, and he also
verbally
assaulted the entire Department of Defense, as the Commanding Officer
of the
Naval Medical Research Unit in Bethesda stated.

McSweegan's harassing letter and the Navy's response is on my homepage.


You can see that McSweegan has stalked and harassed everyone, and is
very, very
mentally ill.

Please look into the matter.

KMDickson
--
http://www.actionlyme.org
===========
Obsession
By Edward McSweegan
Honorable Mention
"Are you back online with those crazies?"
"They're not crazy. And neither am I."
"Well, you're making me crazy. And the kids."
I listened to his angry exhale. I could feel his eyes on the back of my
neck as I stared at the computer screen. My skin is super-sensitive
since the disease started.
He said, "The kids are in bed, in case you manage to drag yourself away
from that online loony bin."
I listened to his feet stomp into our bedroom.
The kids are fine. He's fine too. But I'm not. Doesn't he understand
that? It hurts just to sit here and type out my messages to the group.
I don't know what I'll do if I can't type anymore. Who will I talk to
about this endless nightmare?
I shouldn't say that. Frank was a good husband. He went with me to the
doctors. I had all the symptoms. I still do. There's fever, sweats,
chills, sore throat, upset stomach, shortness of breath, joint pain,
headaches, eye floaters, confusion, forgetfulness..., confusion,
irritability--that's mostly Frank's fault--tremors and exhaustion. I
think there are more. They come and go.
The first doctor I saw didn't have a clue. He poked and prodded and
asked about the flu.
"It's June. Who gets the flu in June?" I asked.
"It happens," he said from behind the barricade of his desk.
I tried most of the doctors in town. None of them knew what they were
doing. None of them made a diagnosis I could accept.
***
On grocery day, I was still wondering why I felt so bad when I
overheard two women talking about Lyme disease and the ticks the older
woman said she kept finding in her yard. I backed out of line with my
cart.
"Excuse me," I said. "What were you saying about those ticks?"
"Oh, it's dreadful, dear. Nasty, blood-sucking creatures. Then you get
all those horrible complications that never go away. The doctors never
manage to diagnose it," she said. "It's a nightmare."
I was so excited. I grabbed her arm as if she might suddenly disappear.
"Yes, I think I have that." I told her about all my symptoms and the
doctors' silly ideas about flu and aging.
"My dear, they have no idea." She waved a dismissive hand. "You need
an expert."
"And you need the right information to make sure they give you the
right antibiotics," said the other woman.
"Where can I...?"
"The Internet. There is a whole community of wonderful patients who can
help you get the right treatments for this awful thing."
She scribbled some Web addresses on the corner of her grocery list,
tore off the paper and handed it to me. "You check here before you
waste more time with those HMO docs. We have to help ourselves, dear.
Keep in touch."
Well, she was right. I found everything on the Internet. Some victims
had posted their symptoms, a do-it-yourself diagnostic survey, and
heart-breaking stories about ruined health and indifferent doctors. Now
I didn't feel so alone.
***
Frank took me to another doctor and I got the Lyme blood tests. All the
tests came back negative, but I knew they would. The Internet sites
said the tests were inaccurate so you had to rely on how you felt.
The doctor shook his head and said I was wrong. "Online chat rooms
and newsgroups are not reliable medical sources. You shouldn't listen
to faceless strangers just because they're agreeable and accessible
through a computer."
I saw Frank nodding in agreement. I think that was when he decided I
was obsessed. That was so unfair of him. All I wanted was to feel
better again.
Driving home, he said, "Honey, none of the doctors can find any
evidence that this is Lyme. They did the blood work. I think we need to
re-focus and ask what else it could be."
"No. The tests are unreliable. The Internet says you can be
seronegative."
"Then why'd you take 'em in the first place?" He raked his
fingers through his "Look, a pregnancy test isn't always reliable
either. But you take five of them and if they're all negative it's safe
to say you're not pregnant. Right?"
He had that nodding, eager look on his face. I could see he was hoping
I would just agree. But I couldn't. Other people failed the tests and
still had Lyme. I knew I did too. "I'm not pregnant," I said. We drove
home in silence.
***
The doctor refused to write me a script for antibiotics. I'd already
used all the antibiotics I got from the all the others. It's so
outrageous having to beg for the medicine you need to get well. Lucky
for me, someone in Lyme Chat said you could buy antibiotics online.
They were for aquarium fish, but so what. I bought three hundred
dollars worth before Frank saw the credit card bills and went
ballistic.
A week later, Frank suggested we see a specialist at the university
hospital.
Well, he seemed nice enough. He read through my charts and asked me
about my lab work. I didn't tell him about the aquarium antibiotics.
He made a temple of his fingers and said, "You know, these ticks are
clever little vampires. They have tiny saw-toothed heads to cut through
your skin and burrow in." He jabbed two fingers onto the desktop. "Then
they secrete a cement that holds them in place. That's why they're so
hard to pull out. Now once they get themselves anchored they release
various chemicals to dampen your immune system and keep your blood from
coagulating."
I felt faint.
"And the bacteria they sometimes carry, they're sort of shaped like
microscopic worms or snakes. A lot of people imagine these things
wiggling through their skin and corkscrewing into their nerves and
joints."
I scratched at a sudden itch on my arm.
"These can be very powerful and disturbing images for many people.
Sometimes they can be overwhelming, even when there is no tick. No
parasite. No bacteria."
"What?" I asked. "You mean, not real?"
He drummed his fingers on his desk. "It's a condition called
'delusional parasitosis'. Lyme disease fits this paradigm for a lot of
people: some of whom are often so desperate for a physical explanation
to an illness when, in fact, it may be more appropriate to explore an
emotional or psychiatric...."
I was out of my chair and out the door before he finished telling me I
was nuts. In the car, I screamed at Frank for tricking me. "I'm not
crazy."
"Look, you need help," he pleaded. "You need to get well. Who cares
how that happens as long as it happens? Those hypochondriacs on the
Internet are just re-enforcing your belief in something no one else can
see."
"Then I'll have to show you," I said.
***
On Saturday, I got myself out of the house and drove over to the kids'
school. Where the playground backed up to the woods, I unfolded one of
our queen-size white sheets and dragged it over the uncut grass. I saw
a tick expert do this on the Discovery Channel. Then I turned the ***
over.
"There they are." I started laughing. Reluctantly, I knelt down and
counted the tiny black dots clinging to my ***. I used a stiff blade
of grass to flick the little monsters into an old baby food jar. I
jammed the lid and hurried home.
I showered and shampooed. Then I went into our backyard with a fresh
white ***; I had to throw the first one away. How could I ever sleep
on it again? I dragged the *** around the yard until I found a tick.
Thank God we didn't have as many as the school. I showered again,
threw away the other contaminated ***, and waited for Frank to come
home.
When he came in I waved the jar in his face and said, "Here's your
proof. We're infested."
He took the jar and peered at it. "What's this?"
"Ticks. Nymphal ticks. The kind that infect you. They're loaded with
Lyme bacteria and God knows what else."
He rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. I'll spray some pesticide if you're
afraid of the backyard. Is there any dinner or do we have to eat
ticks?"
I stormed upstairs and got back online to tell my fellow victims about
the ticks I found.
Later, Frank came upstairs to nag me about my Internet sessions, but I
ignored him. After he went to bed I found my jar of ticks in the
kitchen and brought it upstairs.
The boys were asleep. I straightened out their sheets and blankets. I
know I haven't been the best mother to them lately. But I'm so
tired from having to fight this disease alone. I need help.
I unscrewed the jar's lid and sprinkled the ticks into their hair.
Someone has to listen to me.

Chuck Hearts Foley wrote:
Date: Thu, 5 Oct 2006 07:02:42 -0700 (PDT)
From: "LymeQ Ween" <lymeqween@xxxxxxxxx> Add to Address BookAdd to
Address Book Add Mobile Alert

Subject: "CHRISTOPHER ADAMS" Famous Would-be Scientist Hero=- Just like
McSweegan claims to be...Re: CORRECTION, It was McSweegan's "Deliberate
Release" wacko book ... Here's the data...Re: NIH's Crazy Edward
McSweegan and his harassment of the US Department of Defense (and
everyone else)

To: "LymeQ Ween" <lymeqween@xxxxxxxxx>, dr-ahmadinejad@xxxxxxxxxxxx,
eugenerobinson@xxxxxxxxxxxx, dhaar@xxxxxxxxxxx, horgan@xxxxxxxxxxx,
NEMag@xxxxxxxxxxx, bmiller@xxxxxxxxxxxxx,
eliot.spitzer@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, trvl@xxxxxxxxxxx, rastro18@xxxxxxx,
billcurry@xxxxxxxxxxx, thomas.carson@xxxxxxxxx, amcguigan@xxxxxxxxxxx,
rjmurzyn@xxxxxxx, Send an Instant Message paulcraigroberts@xxxxxxxxx,
Send an Instant Message sidney_blumenthal@xxxxxxxxx,
criminal.division@xxxxxxxxx, karla.dobinski@xxxxxxxxx,
christopher.christie@xxxxxxxxx, francam@xxxxxxxx,
governor.rell@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx, fitzmas@xxxxxxxxx,
patrick.fitzgerald@xxxxxxxxx, modelt1918@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
CC: Jgerberding@xxxxxxx, conndcj@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,
executive-editor@xxxxxxxxxxx, managing-editor@xxxxxxxxxxx,
news-tips@xxxxxxxxxxx, dvbid@xxxxxxx, brigidcallahan@xxxxxxxxxxxxx,
trvl@xxxxxxxxxxx, ubinas@xxxxxxxxxxx, mas1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,
jhornberger@xxxxxxx, thomas.carson@xxxxxxxxx,
leonard.boyle@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx, FalNields@xxxxxxx,
bransfield@xxxxxxxxxxx, vtsherr@xxxxxxxxxxx, mcneilel@xxxxxxx,
oca@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx, dand@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx,
scott.murphy@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx, attorney.general@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,
patrick.clifford@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, thomas.ryan@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,
cpoitras@xxxxxxxxxxx, LoftusHome@xxxxxx

http://www.actionlyme.org/BIOCRIMES_AND_MISDEMEANORS.htm
"As a graduate student twenty years ago, I had a departmental
recruiting poster tacked up on the wall next to my desk. It read, in
part, "If
you are curious, patient, and *** awfully damned intelligent,***
consider a
Ph.D. in microbiology." In 1984 a degree in microbiology seemed like a
good idea..." -- Edward McSweegan.

He's a psychopath, and never actually does any lab bench work or any
discovery.

The anonymous, vulgar, internet harassing troll who accuses Lyme
victims of giving Lyme specialists blow jobs, and also issues death
threats to Lyme victims, stalks and harasses them, and posts personal
information about them all over the internet, is named Chuck P Adams @
aol.

What a coincidence. Chuck P Adams, and the famous hero of Edward
McSweegan stupid and unsophisticated novel (that we paid for while he
was doing nothing at the NIH) is named Chistopher Adams.

Dumb.

Perhaps the media will look into it.

KMDickson

LymeQ Ween <lymeqween@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Deliberate Release

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
----
By Edward McSweegan
About the Book:
Washington, D.C. and the Internet are the settings for this novel
of modern
terror and ancient disease. After two Egyptian scientists release
an African
virus in Washington local doctors misdiagnose the mysterious
infection.
Later they begin to suspect smallpox and terrorism. They are only
half
right. Their initial suspicions are fueled by anonymous
disinformation
spread through the Internet and the media. Government scientist
Christopher
Adams knows the Egyptians and has been trying to track them through
the
Internet. By the time he and the FBI cut through the fog of
deception and
find the terrorists, residents are dying and the city is in panic.
Any biological attack is, by definition, a successful attack:
witness the
mayhem caused by a few anthrax-contaminated letters. Unlike other
novels of
bioterror and epidemic, Deliberate Release avoids the use of
biotechnical
wizardry, chance mutations and wide-eyed fanatics in order to
convey a sense
of our vulnerability to assault and infection. Instead, most of the
ingredients for this modern-day detective story of one man's
efforts to stop
a terror plot come from the neighborhood library, the hardware
store and the
local pharmacy. Even as we try to nail the front door shut against
future
attacks, Deliberate Release provides a fictional window into
potential
backdoor vulnerabilities.
Deliberate Release (previously titled, Tomorrow's Pox) won the
grand prize
in the 2002 Maryland Writers Association-1st Books.Com Book
Contest.
Edward McSweegan:
Edward McSweegan is an infectious disease expert in the Washington,
D.C.
area. His writing credits include numerous non-fiction articles and
book
reviews. A fictional essay appeared in Science as part of the
magazine's
millennial series, "Visions of the Future." A short medical mystery
won
First Place in Writer's Digest genre fiction contest and was
published in
The Year's Best Writing 2001. Other writing awards include two
First Place
prizes and the Grand Prize in the 2002 Maryland Writers
Association-1st
Books.Com Book Contest.

LymeQ Ween <lymeqween@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

McSweegan, you will recall, is the NIH's Infamous "DO NOTHING"
novelist. I will copy in McSweegan's sicko "Obsession" story below this
complaint to the FBI and the US Attorney's office.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/06/26/eveningnews/main560528.shtml


From: kmdickson@xxxxxxxxxxx
[Add to Address Book]
To:
thomas.carson@xxxxxxxxx,fbinhct@xxxxxxx,tb-petitions@xxxxxxxxx,ngochr@xxxxxxxxx,vice_president@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,comments@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,spinlyme@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx,thomas.ryan@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,attorney.general@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,kevin.kane@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,dr-ahamadinejad@xxxxxxxxxxxx
Cc:
spinlyme@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx,abuse@xxxxxxxxxx,abuse@xxxxxxxxxxx,letters@xxxxxxxxxxx,dhaar@xxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Anonymous INternet Harssment using an anonymous
remailer...Re: Same address for "hung like a horse" post as the Lacy
Peterson Death threat post...Re: Anonymous Internet Harssment and Lyme
is a Bioweapon (US Army says so)
Date: Thursday, October 05, 2006 09:18:10 [View Source]

Anonymous Internet Harassment using an anonymous remailer:


Notice that "Chuck" uses an anonymous remailer in his story about how
women who
have children with Lyme disease, have put ticks on their children,
themselves,
in his "Obsession" story, in which he also pretends to be a woman (Ed
has

serious
sexuality/mysogyny issues):
http://www.actionlyme.org/MCSWEEGAN_AND_MUNCHAUSENS.htm

McSweegan was also at the Jan 31, 2001 FDA LYMErix vaccine meeting and
later
posted this anonymously, using a remailer:
http://www.actionlyme.org/McSweegan_Stalking_Feb_2001_38a561b9b28962b5.htm

That was after I told the FDA that LYMErix was bogus
because they
used a bogus blood test to qualify it and that Yale and SmithKline
illegal threw out vaccine failure data as "unconfirmed Lyme"
http://www.fda.gov/ohrms/dockets/ac/01/slides/3680s2_11.pdf


The SPECIFICITY of each antibody to Lyme is ACCURATE for diagnosis.
If you require 5 SPECIFIC antibodies
to be present, when,
as Steere says, these
antibodies evolve over time, that decreases the ACCURACY of the test,
or misses
more cases.

Steere himself said these antibodies appear over time, and that new IgM
was
diagnostic of persisting infection:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=PureSearch&db=pubmed&details_term=3531237%5BUID%5D

The opposite is what we now have as a test for
Lyme, that the CDC claims is
accurate but is NOT according to the FDA rules for a method validation.
What we
have now for a Lyme test is like saying I cannot be white female unless
I have
blond hair, am shorter than 5'-4," and have a certain level of estrogen
in my
blood.

The entire STUPID idea for a Lyme vaccine for a relapsing fever
borreliosis was
Ed McSweegan's, as you
can see from his harassing
letter to Senator Barry
Goldwater, where he not only exposed the fact that the Navy experiments
with
illegal nerve gas, but that the US Navy was incompetent, and he also
verbally
assaulted the entire Department of Defense, as the Commanding Officer
of the
Naval Medical Research Unit in Bethesda stated.

McSweegan's harassing letter and the Navy's response is on my homepage.


You can see that McSweegan has stalked and harassed everyone, and is
very, very
mentally ill.

Please look into the
matter.

KMDickson
--
http://www.actionlyme.org

===========
Obsession
By Edward McSweegan
Honorable Mention
"Are you back online with those crazies?"
"They're not crazy. And neither am I."
"Well, you're making me crazy. And the kids."
I listened to his angry exhale. I could feel his eyes on the
back of my neck as I stared at the computer screen. My skin is
super-sensitive since the disease started.
He said, "The kids are in bed, in case you manage to drag
yourself away from that online loony bin."
I listened to his feet stomp into our bedroom.
The kids are fine. He's fine too. But I'm not. Doesn't he
understand that? It hurts just to sit here and type out my messages to
the group. I don't know what I'll do if I can't type anymore. Who will
I talk to about this endless nightmare?
I shouldn't say that. Frank was a good husband. He went with me
to the doctors. I had all the symptoms. I still do. There's fever,
sweats, chills, sore throat, upset stomach, shortness of breath, joint
pain, headaches, eye floaters, confusion, forgetfulness..., confusion,
irritability--that's mostly Frank's fault--tremors and exhaustion. I
think there are more. They come and go.
The first doctor I saw didn't have a clue. He poked and prodded
and asked about the flu.
"It's June. Who gets the flu in June?" I asked.
"It happens," he said from behind the barricade of his desk.
I tried most of the doctors in town. None of them knew what
they were doing. None of them made a diagnosis I could accept.
***
On grocery day, I was still wondering why I felt so bad when I
overheard two women talking about Lyme disease and the ticks the older
woman said she kept finding in her yard. I backed out of line with my
cart.
"Excuse me," I said. "What were you saying about those
ticks?"
"Oh, it's dreadful, dear. Nasty, blood-sucking creatures. Then
you get all those horrible complications that never go away. The
doctors never manage to diagnose it," she said. "It's a
nightmare."
I was so excited. I grabbed her arm as if she might suddenly
disappear. "Yes, I think I have that." I told her about all my symptoms
and the doctors' silly ideas about flu and aging.
"My dear, they have no idea." She waved a dismissive hand.
"You need an expert."
"And you need the right information to make sure they give
you the right antibiotics," said the other woman.
"Where can I...?"
"The Internet. There is a whole community of wonderful patients
who can help you get the right treatments for this awful thing."
She scribbled some Web addresses on the corner of her grocery
list, tore off the paper and handed it to me. "You check here before
you waste more time with those HMO docs. We have to help ourselves,
dear. Keep in touch."
Well, she was right. I found everything on the Internet. Some
victims had posted their symptoms, a do-it-yourself diagnostic survey,
and heart-breaking stories about ruined health and indifferent doctors.
Now I didn't feel so alone.
***
Frank took me to another doctor and I got the Lyme blood tests.
All the tests came back negative, but I knew they would. The Internet
sites said the tests were inaccurate so you had to rely on how you
felt.
The doctor shook his head and said I was wrong. "Online chat
rooms and newsgroups are not reliable medical sources. You shouldn't
listen to faceless strangers just because they're agreeable and
accessible through a computer."
I saw Frank nodding in agreement. I think that was when he
decided I was obsessed. That was so unfair of him. All I wanted was to
feel better again.
Driving home, he said, "Honey, none of the doctors can find any
evidence that this is Lyme. They did the blood work. I think we need to
re-focus and ask what else it could be."
"No. The tests are unreliable. The Internet says you can be
seronegative."
"Then why'd you take 'em in the first place?" He raked
his fingers through his "Look, a pregnancy test isn't always reliable
either. But you take five of them and if they're all negative it's safe
to say you're not pregnant. Right?"
He had that nodding, eager look on his face. I could see he was
hoping I would just agree. But I couldn't. Other people failed the
tests and still had Lyme. I knew I did too. "I'm not pregnant," I said.
We drove home in silence.
***
The doctor refused to write me a script for antibiotics. I'd
already used all the antibiotics I got from the all the others. It's
so outrageous having to beg for the medicine you need to get well.
Lucky for me, someone in Lyme Chat said you could buy antibiotics
online. They were for aquarium fish, but so what. I bought three
hundred dollars worth before Frank saw the credit card bills and went
ballistic.
A week later, Frank suggested we see a specialist at the
university hospital.
Well, he seemed nice enough. He read through my charts and
asked me about my lab work. I didn't tell him about the aquarium
antibiotics.
He made a temple of his fingers and said, "You know, these
ticks are clever little vampires. They have tiny saw-toothed heads to
cut through your skin and burrow in." He jabbed two fingers onto the
desktop. "Then they secrete a cement that holds them in place. That's
why they're so hard to pull out. Now once they get themselves anchored
they release various chemicals to dampen your immune system and keep
your blood from coagulating."
I felt faint.
"And the bacteria they sometimes carry, they're sort of shaped
like microscopic worms or snakes. A lot of people imagine these things
wiggling through their skin and corkscrewing into their nerves and
joints."
I scratched at a sudden itch on my arm.
"These can be very powerful and disturbing images for many
people. Sometimes they can be overwhelming, even when there is no tick.
No parasite. No bacteria."
"What?" I asked. "You mean, not real?"
He drummed his fingers on his desk. "It's a condition called
'delusional parasitosis'. Lyme disease fits this paradigm for a lot of
people: some of whom are often so desperate for a physical explanation
to an illness when, in fact, it may be more appropriate to explore an
emotional or psychiatric...."
I was out of my chair and out the door before he finished
telling me I was nuts. In the car, I screamed at Frank for tricking me.
"I'm not crazy."
"Look, you need help," he pleaded. "You need to get well. Who
cares how that happens as long as it happens? Those hypochondriacs on
the Internet are just re-enforcing your belief in something no one else
can see."
"Then I'll have to show you," I said.
***
On Saturday, I got myself out of the house and drove over to
the kids' school. Where the playground backed up to the woods, I
unfolded one of our queen-size white sheets and dragged it over the
uncut grass. I saw a tick expert do this on the Discovery Channel. Then
I turned the *** over.
"There they are." I started laughing. Reluctantly, I knelt down
and counted the tiny black dots clinging to my ***. I used a stiff
blade of grass to flick the little monsters into an old baby food jar.
I jammed the lid and hurried home.
I showered and shampooed. Then I went into our backyard with a
fresh white ***; I had to throw the first one away. How could I ever
sleep on it again? I dragged the *** around the yard until I found a
tick. Thank God we didn't have as many as the school. I showered
again, threw away the other contaminated ***, and waited for Frank to
come home.
When he came in I waved the jar in his face and said, "Here's
your proof. We're infested."
He took the jar and peered at it. "What's this?"
"Ticks. Nymphal ticks. The kind that infect you. They're
loaded with Lyme bacteria and God knows what else."
He rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. I'll spray some pesticide if
you're afraid of the backyard. Is there any dinner or do we have to eat
ticks?"
I stormed upstairs and got back online to tell my fellow
victims about the ticks I found.
Later, Frank came upstairs to nag me about my Internet
sessions, but I ignored him. After he went to bed I found my jar of
ticks in the kitchen and brought it upstairs.
The boys were asleep. I straightened out their sheets and
blankets. I know I haven't been the best mother to them lately. But
I'm so tired from having to fight this disease alone. I need help.
I unscrewed the jar's lid and sprinkled the ticks into their
hair.
Someone has to listen to me.


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