Re: It's okay
From: Becky Young (blupencl_at_aol.combadstuff)
Date: 06/11/04
- Next message: 14tonks: "Re: Computer problem"
- Previous message: Becky Young: "Re: Computer problem"
- In reply to: LizzieB: "Re: It's okay"
- Next in thread: Dwilliams: "Re: It's okay"
- Reply: Dwilliams: "Re: It's okay"
- Messages sorted by: [ date ] [ thread ]
Date: 11 Jun 2004 14:59:18 GMT
My father, after retiring from the banking business, needed something to do. So
he is the director or the boss or something of a cemetery here. He has sat on
the board for many years, but now he goes to the office every day. He knows all
the funeral people all over the place.
One of his Masonic brothers, a guy that dad mentored, owns this particular
chain of funeral homes. The minute Brian died, Dad called his friend, only to
find that he was out of town, but Dad left a message for him.
We went to the funeral home to make the arrangements. I was on autopilot, in
shock, and had not had the sense to sit down and do any accounting, but I
figured I was going to have to Visa some of it, because I thought it was going
to be like $5000 or something.
Dad said not to worry, they'd make the arrangements without any money till I
could figure things out. He didn't give it a thought, knew that when he said
"XXX is going to call you..." that would be that.
I wasn't asking them to carry a note for me, not at all. I just wanted to get
the arrangements made, get the ball rolling, and then be able to sit down and
gather the money. I am not impoverished, but I don't have much of a reserve,
either. We were totally unprepared, in other words.
We sat across the desk from this man, made all those arrangements, which
reminded me of holding down some kind of fort from an onslaught of bullets.
Brian's wishes were my only concern. If he'd wanted a $7000 mahogany casket, I
would have done that (not liked it, but done it).
He wrote up all the papers, gave me the bottom line. Dad said, "Well we need to
go, before XXX calls. So how much do we need to pay before we leave?"
Mr. Buffoon says, "Here. This number I showed you." POinted to the total amout
due.
Boy that flew all over my dad. I wrote the check and we figured it out later,
but how embarrassing that was.
When Mr. XXX got back in town, he was pretty mad, felt that we had received
shabby treatment.
But it taught me a lesson. I am not going to leave my children with such a
task. I'm going to set down instructions and make sure all they have to do is
pass those instructions along. I wont' have it already paid for, but I will
have arrangements so they can get the $ out of the bank and not have to worry
with it.
One of the things that has kept me from just folding up and dying (as if you
could really do that) is thinking of how hard that would be on them.
>After having gone through this experience with my mother when my father died
>(he was 51), I think the best thing my husband and I can do for my family is
>to buy the plots, get that pre-paid funeral thing, and *write it all down*
>for the remaining spouse and/or executor. Of course, we're not even 40 yet,
>but things happen and if we've already taken care of all this stuff, it sure
>takes a lot of burden off grieving loved ones whose *last* thought should
>be, "How am I going to pay for this?"
>
>LizzieB
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Becky Young
- Next message: 14tonks: "Re: Computer problem"
- Previous message: Becky Young: "Re: Computer problem"
- In reply to: LizzieB: "Re: It's okay"
- Next in thread: Dwilliams: "Re: It's okay"
- Reply: Dwilliams: "Re: It's okay"
- Messages sorted by: [ date ] [ thread ]
Relevant Pages
|
