No offense to the men
From: djgordon (danigordon_at_bellsouth.net)
Date: 10/09/04
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Date: Sat, 9 Oct 2004 09:43:38 -0500
on here, but this is actually cute:
Men's Rules:
1) The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.
2) Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come
home with the wrong thing.
3) When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the
screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials.
Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much
better chance of getting an immediate response.
4) When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a
commercial, do not hassle me that the commercials have probably
finished, and to change the channel back. I always know when the
timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go
back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.
5) If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry
it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore
and I am now free to return to the couch.
6) If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something
it is not necessary for you to call his wife/ girlfriend to discuss
it.
7) If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would
appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling
alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be your
fault.
8) I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
9) Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And
remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the
occasion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting ready.
10) Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain
accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no-win situation
and would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV.
11) If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you
should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only fair. And
stop giving me a hard time about missing the bowl.
12) I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.
13) Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd
background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.
14) When I am on the phone to my pals, I usually talk about important
stuff, and I'm finished talking quickly. I don't phone someone and
talk for hours about stuff I could've said when I saw them in person
earlier.
15) "Housework" is not a word I like, and actually doing any of it, I
like even less. So this is a non starter, don't even think of
suggesting this to me.
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