Re: I couldn't believe this
From: JulieW8 (seemysig_at_netscape.net)
Date: 11/14/04
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Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2004 01:14:29 GMT
Oh - your experience (and therefore definition) of the term is
different from mine! When I say boys will be boys, I mean the way
brothers and friends horse around with each other. Unless I think they
might hurt someone or each other, I don't see a reason to stop it -
and besides, I'm tired of trying. But if they damage or break
something they pay for it. Let's see - one time it was a damaged door
when they rammed into it like a freight train and another time it was
a clogged sink after one of them got a knee in the stomach and threw
up <sigh>. And this was just playing - nobody was mad at anybody else.
I sure don't tolerate them being mean to each other or other kids.
I suspect your school is much smaller, in a smaller community, so it's
probably easier for parents to influence teachers and administration.
The problem we have around here is parents who are too busy working or
just don't care. I think that's one reason the school has to be so
intolerant - the parents aren't around or are overly tolerant. When
this same son was in a small private school, he had problems with a
couple other kids and didn't want to go to the local high school
because they were also going there. I told him in a school of 3600
kids, he probably wouldn't see them much and I was right - he says he
never runs into them and he's not even sure if they still go to school
there. I went to school in a small town and we went from grade school
to middle school to high school with the same kids all the way
through. If you made enemies in 4th grade, you had the same enemies in
12th grade!
On Sat, 13 Nov 2004 16:59:36 -0600, "Maureen Galvin"
<maureen.galvin@comcastdotnet> spilled the contents of his/her brain
by saying:
>
>"JulieW8" <seemysig@netscape.net> wrote in message >
>> I'm not sure why everyone seems to think I used it as an excuse. The
>> principal told me spraying water on kids is against the rules. I thought
>> a day of suspension for a kid who'd never even done detention before was
>> a bit much and she disagreed. My son took his day of suspension because
>> in our house - boys or girls - you break the rules, you take the
>> punishment.
>
>And I am very glad that your son did the punishment. I dont know how things
>are done at your schools, but at our school you get a handbook which shows
>the types of infractions and the punishments that go along with them and you
>and your child have to sign an acknowledgement that you reviewed them and
>understood.
>
>My situation is not everyone's, but my son who was a good student for the
>most part, not a trouble maker and definitely not part of the "in-crowd" and
>his friends were always the ones who caught the brunt of the bullying and
>downright nasty behavior of a crew whose parents lived by the "boys will be
>boys" rule. These were also the parents on the school board, the holy name
>group, the mothers club, etc. and staunch supporters of the school so their
>kids got to run the place carte blanc (sp). When you went to the school to
>complain you got the same crap about how they would talk to the kids and you
>just have to understand that this is how boys are - bull crap. The
>principal who also did not allow fighting on school grounds would tell me
>that my son and his friends would have to "stand up" for themselves. This
>began in the 4th grade. One day he did stand up for himself and he was
>suspended for fighting a boy who had been bullying him for 3 years now. At
>first they wanted to only suspend my son because he threw the first punch.
>I agreed he needed to be disciplined and had no trouble with the suspension,
>but it takes two to fight and the kid he finally fought had been the
>instigator for years. All of a sudden this kids parents thought my son was
>the monster because he should have been able to take a little ribbing and
>suck it up. Finally they both ended up with suspensions.
>
>They would hold those self-esteem pep rallies in the school. The kids who
>needed the self esteem boost were the ones cowering in the corners
>afterwards because the other kids were bouncing off the walls.
>
>When two of my son's classmates decided to begin picking on his little
>sister and her friend at the park and came home crying, I went up there and
>gave these kids a piece of my mind and told them that whatever their issue
>was with my son it was between them and they had best leave his sister
>alone. These boy's parents said to me, "well you know how boys are. We try
>to stay out of their problems and let them work it out themselves." Again,
>all well and good for the boys, but why is it okay for them to drag his
>little sister (who was only 10) into the mix.
>
>So sorry, it's a sore spot with me and when I hear it said aloud I just
>cringe.
>
>Maureen
>
>
~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~*****
To send me e-mail, use juliew8@deletethis-alphabest.com
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