Re: Letter to your pets

I am printing it to save! I have solved the bathroom problem by just not
closing the door.

I need to add one: I know you love to swim in the pool, but rolling on the
bed while wet is not an accepted way of drying yourself.

Barb C.


"Susan Mitchell" <medlawtrans@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:tsidncOwXcGTJrTeRVn-hA@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Got this from my sister:
> A LETTER TO YOUR PETS
>
> Dear Beloved Pets:
>
> The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
> other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
> print
> in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
> your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
> slightest.
>
>
> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
> Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
> because
> I fall faster than you can run.
>
> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
> about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
> your comfort.
>
> Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is
> not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
> fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
> having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
> sarcasm.
>
> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If
> by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
> not
> necessary to claw, whine, bark, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
> under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
> same
> door I entered.
>
> Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline
> attendance is not mandatory.
>
> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
> ***. I cannot stress this enough!
>
> To return the kindness of your obedience, my dear pets, I have
> posted
> the following on our front door so visitors to our home know what the
> rules
> are here:
>
> Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit
>
> and Like to Complain About Our Pets
>
> 1. They live here. You don't.
>
>
> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
>
> furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
>
>
> 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
>
>
> 4. To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted children who are
> short, hairy and walk on all fours. Although they don't speak clearly,
> they
> communicate extremely well, especially my cats.
>
>
> 5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money
> all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called (this does not
> apply to cats), never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using
> friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest
> fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for
> college. Also, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children!
>
>
> --
> Sue -- Firefighter mom -- Still Rabid UW Dawg Fan!
> (to reply send to medlawtrans@xxxxxxxxxxx)
>
>


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