Re: To all my good email friends
- From: "DJGordon" <danigordon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 19 Dec 2005 22:44:32 -0600
LOL, mine is the same way. What is it with Moms? I have sent her so many
snopes links in the past that she now writes and asks me to look it up
before forwarding it.
Dani
"CindyB" <cinqueen@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:gd1fq1dqt0dag4i5umjnj7g56qko5s7lk0@xxxxxxxxxx
>I see you are on my mom's e-mail list too, huh?
>
>
>
> On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 19:46:06 -0600, "DJGordon"
> <danigordon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
>>To One and all of my Good E-mail buds:
>>
>>As the holidays approach, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you
>>who have taken the time and trouble to send me forwards" over the past 12
>>months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
>>
>>Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on
>>envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
>>seal
>>an envelope.
>>
>>Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of
>>your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet
>>stains.
>>
>>I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
>>products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
>>
>>I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
>>
>>I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
>>with a needle infected with AIDS.
>>
>>I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
>>buffalo on a hot day.
>>
>>I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
>>perfume sample and rob me.
>>
>>I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or Fed Ex since
>>they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
>>
>>I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
>>for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
>>Singapore,
>>and Uzbekistan.
>>
>>I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant
>>freaks with no eyes or feathers.
>>
>>I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
>>free
>>replacement pair from Nike.
>>
>>I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
>>have their recipe.
>>
>>I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214
>>angels
>>looking out for me.
>>
>>Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
>>forward
>>an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
>>
>>I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
>>to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)
>>
>>I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive
>>the
>>$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
>>special email tracking program.
>>
>>Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now
>>return the favor!
>>
>>If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
>>minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your
>>head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it
>>actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor's
>>ex-mother-in-law's
>>second husband's cousin's beautician....
>>
>>
.
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