Re: ? - right/wrong/neither

Jeannie Wilson wrote:
Okay, I got asked a question(s) today and I am not 100% sure of my answer because I can honestly see both sides (what a curse sometimes). Anyway, I thought I would throw this out there for you all.

If this is the same youth pastor you told me about before, you know what I think about him. LOLOLOL

How would you feel if the youth pastor at your church were dating the sigle mother of one of the youth in his youth group? Appropriate? Not appropriate?? Why?

If the church believes it would be okay for her to remarry, I don't see why it should be a problem. I could see how some tongues could wag as far as worrying about his playing favorites, though, if it was not done discreetly.

Also....what if this were the 3rd girlfriend this same youth pastor had within a 1.5-year period and the 2nd girlfriend was also a member of the congregation?

That depends on how you define girlfriend and who the ladies are -- to me it might show some level of immaturity. But I am not there to see exactly what is going on.

Along thos esame lines - Is it appropriate for a single pastor to date members of the congregation of the church where he is employed?

I would much rather see a youth pastor date within his own congregation (or someone from his Bible college) rather than outside of the congregation, because I would be concerned about the influence of someone from a different congregation; HOWEVER, I think that any dating or girlfriends of someone at a pastor level should have a maximum amount of discretion -- not subterfuge, but just confidentiality.

Peter Marshall dated his wife very discreetly for something like six months before they were engaged, and nobody had any idea what was going on. He didn't want the church gossips wagging their tongues about him.

I am currently re-reading the memoirs of the Episopal priest who was the Navy chaplain under the command on Guam where my husband served and where I spent the first year and a half of my married life, and he writes in this book that when he met his future wife for the first time and wanted to get to know her better, he arranged to meet her and have dates away from where his congregation would be aware of what was going on, and even when the day came that he announced his engagement, the would-be gossips were still trying to match him with another young lady in the congregation, and it was a total shock to them to find out he had asked someone else to marry him. (Yes, they got over the shock.)
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Relevant Pages

  • Re: ? - right/wrong/neither
    ... How would you feel if the youth pastor at your church were dating the ... Also....what if this were the 3rd girlfriend this same youth pastor had ... members of the congregation of the church where he is employed? ...
    (sci.med.transcription)
  • Re: ? - right/wrong/neither
    ... Also....what if this were the 3rd girlfriend this same youth pastor had ... within a 1.5-year period and the 2nd girlfriend was also a member of the ... members of the congregation of the church where he is employed? ...
    (sci.med.transcription)
  • Re: ? - right/wrong/neither
    ... Also....what if this were the 3rd girlfriend this same youth pastor had ... within a 1.5-year period and the 2nd girlfriend was also a member of ... members of the congregation of the church where he is employed? ...
    (sci.med.transcription)
  • Re: ? - right/wrong/neither
    ... Also....what if this were the 3rd girlfriend this same youth pastor had ... within a 1.5-year period and the 2nd girlfriend was also a member of the ... members of the congregation of the church where he is employed? ...
    (sci.med.transcription)
  • Re: ? - right/wrong/neither
    ... Also....what if this were the 3rd girlfriend this same youth pastor had ... within a 1.5-year period and the 2nd girlfriend was also a member of the ... members of the congregation of the church where he is employed? ...
    (sci.med.transcription)
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