Re: ? - right/wrong/neither

Donna <donna@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote here for all to
seenews:Xns97CAB628E7896donnaixnayontheamspa@xxxxxxxxxxxx:

(opinion-on)
It's sure to fuel a gossip mill, but there's nothing wrong with it.
Interoffice dating. Instructor/student dating. It goes on anywhere.
They'll be on display and others will notice, but it's not
inappropriate. (opinion-off)


Just responding to you here because you were the last one I see who
answered....

I see that I am not alone in my opinion, so that does make me happy. I
think many are upset but like I said, I was just asked the question today.
No gossip going on and I was not even 100% sure the question was about our
youth pastor as we were not at church this morning but were there this
evening and I see that there is a bit of people who are upset. I guess the
issue is that in the span of a year and a half, he has had 3 serious
girlfriends and the two prior have caused "drama" at the church and many
feel they should have been handled better between the adults as well as
what was said and done in front of the youth. The second girlfriend was a
member of our church and after the breakup, she felt she had to leave the
church because of the hard feelings against her becuase the breakup was her
idea. I personally can see how that would make some people upset. I think
the issue with the third one is that she is divorced and not scripturally
divorced (which our church will not allow someone who is not scripturally
divorced to be married in our church) and her son is in his youth group.
There is already the favoritism issue because he is "like a son" to our
senior pastor and has been for umpteen years, who hired him and he has
shown favoritism towards the pastor's children, so I guess people are
afraid it will happen with this one OR that it will hurt the child if his
mom and the youth pastor end up breaking up as he will have lost a youth
pastor and a friend if it is not pleasant.

Like I said, I can see both sides of it. I can see the concern but I don't
know where he is expected to find someone with similar interests, etc. if
not where he works. It really isn't anyones business but what brought this
about is his cell phone bill and that is how it all got public. He wasn't
even supposed to have cell phone that the church paid for but the pastor
took him and put him on the account and got him one and the bill was WAY
HIGH and there were numerous late-night phone calls to the one number and
when they called it, they found out it was her. The relationship was lied
about, blah, blah, blah. That is why people are getting upset about it
from I gathered in my short time there tonight and in the emails I got,
which is why I guess they feel it is now an issue. Like I said, I wasn't
there last week at all and wasn't there for morning service. At the time
I posed the question, I knew little but figured that he is who they were
talking about. I, however, dated one person that I worked with. We broke
up and it was a nightmare and I made it my policy not to get my honey where
I got my money. That doesn't mean it's right for everyone, just was my
policy. I know my DHs company has a policy that they will not hire spouses
and if you are married to a co-employee after you have been working there,
one is encouraged to seek employment elsewhere. I am not sure how that is
enforced or if it even is but they won't hire family, distant or not, and
will not hire spouses or children.

Anyway, I am interested in the conversation - not so much the snide
comments or assumptions but the conversation that this could bring about.
It does make you wonder......I sure wish I didn't see both sides of it
right about now.
.

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