Re: seeking information

Let it go and just hope for the best.

If your brother is ever going to come around again, it has to be because
*HE* wants to and *HE* is ready to do so. He can't do it out of a sense of
guilt or family.



"Sandi" <sanditypes@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:4ob2d7FdpmbkU1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'd like to take credit for making that decision, but I really didn't. He
just isn't giving me much choice. I do send him birthday cards (given his
behavior at Christmas, I think Christmas cards are inappropriate), and
actually called him up and invited him out to dinner once on our mutual
birthday. He came, ate, and left, and I never heard from him again. My
son ran into him at our grandmother's house a couple of weeks ago and he
asked my son to say hello only to my husband, and not to me.

As ticked off as I am at him, I miss my brother. We used to spend whole
evenings together saying very little but communicating the whole time,
just because of inside jokes or various forms of entertainment that we
both enjoyed. There are things only the two of us shared, and those
things have left a large hole in my life. It's knowing how bad that
hurts, and knowing how much stronger the love of a mother is for her child
(being a mother myself, and not a perfect one), that makes my heart break
for my mother.

Sandi

"Phyllis Nilsson" <phyllisnilsson@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:3MedncHcF8GR1L3YnZ2dnUVZ_rCdnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
And I certainly believe that you have made the best decision based upon
the
circumstances. Only you know what happened and how it affected the rest
of
the family. Everything else here is guessing.

Sandi wrote:

Well, yeah, Phyllis, that was my point. I don't bang on his door or
tell
him anything. I leave him and his wife alone.

Sandi

"Phyllis Nilsson" <phyllisnilsson@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:eNWdnUvVwpf-iL3YnZ2dnUVZ_vqdnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Guess I have to take the opposite stance here. If an adult child
decides
it
is in his best interest to remove himself from the family, I believe
someone who loves him will respect his wishes and not go banging on his
door to "make up" and drag him back into the family he wants to get
away
from.

He's an adult, not a 10-year-old. What he does is his choice and I
don't
think the rest of the family has any right to tell him his choice is
wrong.
His reasoning is whacky, but it is his reasoning, his stupidity, and
his
loss. Since when is the family always responsible for something one of
the
kids does? They do have minds of their own and they make their own
decisions. They have that right to do it, but they have the right to
suffer the consequences of their decisions as well.

Sandi wrote:


I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO VALIDATE OR NOT VALIDATE ANYTHING. He cut
all
ties, said "f*** you" and walked. What do you want me to do, bang on
his door and refuse to go away until I'm let in?

Sandi

--
Toledo,Ohio


--
Toledo,Ohio





.

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