This is too stressful. Somebody find me a husband.
- From: Blupencl <Blupencl.2oyarc@xxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2007 18:40:17 -0400
I had a lunch date today - with somebody I've been talking to on line
for a long time now, a couple of months, and on the phone too. We know
each other pretty well for a couple of strangers. We've just never
gotten together before. So we met for lunch. Here's how it went. I knew
that he would be driving a small white car with "LR" on the side (he
works for the City of LR). I know what he looks like. He knows what I
look like - EXCEPT he says I"m not fat. I know what fat looks like and
I know I am fat, but perhaps that is because I see myself naked every
day. Whatever. I told him I would be wearing a white blouse. Then I
changed my mind and added a purple vest.
I pulled up to the appointed place. Sure enough, here comes a little
white car - no lettering on the side, but a skinny guy driving. Same
glasses. He parked his car, got out. Leaned back in the car for a
minute, then got out. I'm thinking he's getting a breath mint or
something. I walked up to him and smiled: "I would never have found
you. There's no LR on the car." I even have my hand on his arm. He
acted like I had a gun pointed at his head. He turned around and he had
his mouth full of what looked like a whole banana. Why would somebody
who's going to lunch eat a banana???
?? Ma'am?
There's no lettering on your car. Anyway, I'm Becky, as I'm sure you
know.
"I am not American. I don't know what you say." This is after he
swallowed that entire banana, by the way. His foreign accent is
extremely heavy. Maybe like some Indian place or something.
He DID look a little swarthier than I expected, but the guy is supposed
to be Italian.
He walked up to the sidewalk in front of the restaurant, threw his
banana peel away, walked in the restaurant and looked around, got back
in his car and left.
I AM SO MAD! I called my mother - I am laughing hysterically. I can
hardly breathe. "I've been BURNED! The guy acted like he was an Iranian
so he didn't have to go out with me!"
We got some good yuks out of that one, I'll tell you. I was about to
wet my pants I was laughing so hard. She said, "Ooh, that's a good one!
Call your sister and tell her!" So I was in the middle of the story with
my sister when the REAL guy walked up. I hated for him to see me
laughing like that so I had to tell him the story.
I keep thinking of that first guy going to the airport and standing in
line for a ticket back to where he came from because of crazy American
women who TOUCH you without your permission.
--
Blupencl
.
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