Re: Hallmark cards we'll never see.
- From: The Ghost In The Machine <ewill@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 4 Apr 2007 20:23:31 -0700
In sci.physics, Jeff?Relf
<Jeff_Relf@xxxxxxxxx>
wrote
on 5 Apr 2007 02:42:02 GMT
<Jeff_Relf_2007_Apr_4_8_@xxxxxxxxx>:
Hi Don_Stockbauer, Thanks for the fortune cookie.
Quoting from " www.CodeHappy.NET/fortune/fortune.zip ",
here's some Hallmark cards we'll never see:
My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat,
but when I looked at the tire, I found your cat.
So you've announced that you're gay, and won't that be a laugh,
when they find out you're one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Now your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day,
but look at the bright side: she's a really good lay.
Heard your wife left you. How upset you must be !
Don't fret about your wife though; She's moving in with me.
Your computer is dead, I'm tellin' ya mista',
you shouldn't have installed Windows Vista.
Your computer's bug-riddled and full of debris,
Why did you ever install Windows XP?
Roses are red,
Violets are orange,
This thread is dead,
and you're just a ... (quick, what term rhymes with orange)?
Roses are black,
Violets are frilly,
Let's face it Mack,
You're just being silly.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
There's no way in hell
She'll ever love you.
Roses are red,
sitting on a shelf,
Why exactly are
you here, Jeff Relf?
Roses are red,
Violets are green,
I can't say why,
but I'm the Ghost in the Machine.
(OK, poetic license, *ahem*)
Roses are red,
Violets are flat,
Oops, no wait,
that was once your cat.
Roses are red,
A gear is a cog,
Ooops, that mutt's dead.
Hope it's not my dog.
Roses are red,
(This is absurd.
I could have sworn
I just stepped on your bird.)
Roses are red,
Oops! Heh heh. Squish.
I think that was once
your pet goldfish.
Some beers are red,
if it's a great lager,
Oh, can I please
pet the nice *CHOMP*.
Roses are red,
Salmon are rare,
Oops...uh...no,
not a cuddly bear.
Roses are red,
Honey is yellow,
The bees sting like crazy
right on the old fellow.
(Ow.)
And finally....
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
but receding fast enough
they'd be red too.
Violets are blue,
Roses are red,
Moving fast towards you though
they'd be blue instead.
And that's the instructional lesson for today. Tune in
tomorrow when we try to explain exactly how refraction
works through the Power of Poetry(tm).
--
#191, ewill3@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Windows Vista. Because it's time to refresh your hardware. Trust us.
--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com
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