Re: CEV PDQ

On Tue, 17 May 2005 01:17:40 -0500, Pat Flannery <flanner@xxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:

> This depends if the Scottish can be defined as "White People" or not.
> In the movie "Braveheart", a lot of them painted themselves blue- and
> painting oneself is a trait that is often encountered in those dusky
> and discolored races that constitute "The White Man's Burden".
> The vast majority of Scots are protestant, and therefore are not among
> those who shall ascend into heaven on the Judgment Day as followers of
> the True Church shall- but rather find themselves writhing among the
> Pentacostalists, Holy Rollers, and pathetic Mormons in the eternal fire
> of God's Just Anger. While their bodies are white on the outside, their
> souls are black on the inside, and as hideous and cankered as their
> filthy haggis- an offal that can only be choked down in combination and
> with the crude and stupefying "Ball Of Malt" that is their pathetic
> attempt to equal the true God's Ambrosia that is Irish Whiskey.
> It might be better to ask ourselves not if the Scots are "White People",
> but rather if they are "People" at all.

Where to start?

1. "Braveheart" was not a documentary. Not even close.

2. The Picts painted themselves with woad, not the Scots, and they
stopped doing it long before Wallace came around. The Scots just took
off their clothes to charge into battle. No woad required.

3. The Scots are Irish, except for the Norse who took over the Isles
(they got first choice). Yes, Scotland was settled by the Irish
fairly recently.

4. The Irish are responsible for the invention of the bagpipe in the
British Isles. There's probably a special circle of Hell reserved for
the inventors and the popularizers

5. At least Haggis is an indigenous dish, not an American import.
The next thing you'll say is that deep-fried Mars Bars aren't
authentic Scots cuisine.

6. The Scots didn't have to put cream and sugar into their whisky to
get people outside the country to buy it, unlike the Irish.

7. Bourbon is better than either. It's probably greatly influenced
by the Scots, though, because a lot of them came to the southern US
colonies after the Enclosure Acts and Culloden.

8. If the Irish had kept their original church, they wouldn't be
Roman Catholic. They wouldn't be Protestant, either, but the priests
would be married.

9. Someone needs to keep a sharp eye on all those Celts.

10. I'm neither Scots nor Irish, not even a little bit. I'm
completely neutral on all this, except maybe the bagpipes.

Mary

--
Mary Shafer Retired aerospace research engineer
We didn't just do weird stuff at Dryden, we wrote reports about it.
reunite.gondwana@xxxxxxxxx or miliff@xxxxxxxx
.

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