Re: All the American's here?

On Sun, 16 Oct 2005 12:41:06 -0500, Pat Flannery <flanner@xxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:

>
>
>Fred J. McCall wrote:
>
>>:>What, be thin skinned and touchy as hell.
>>:
>>:No, that's the French. ;-)
>>
>>And here all this time I thought that was the British....
>>
>>
>
>Well, them too.
>Let's refresh our knowledge of English traits, via National Lampoon's
>"Forigners Around The World":
>
>
> "ENGLISH
>
>Racial Characteristics:
>Cold-blooded queers with nasty complexions and terrible teeth who once
>conquered half the world but still haven't figured out central heating.
>They warm their beers and chill their baths and boil all their food,
>including bread. An intensely snobbish group, but who exactly they're
>snubbing is an international mystery. Lately they've been getting their
>comeuppance world power-wise, as their shabby, antiquated, and bankrupt
>little back alley of a country slowly winds down like the ill-crafted
>clockwork playthings of which their undersized children are so fond. In
>fact, last year their entire government had to kiss the ass of the fat
>aboriginal nig-nog who runs Uganda to retrieve a single flit hack writer
>from the clutches of that august nation. They all have large collections
>of something useless like lamp finials or toad eggs, and they would have
>lost both world wars if it were not for us. They like to be spanked with
>canes and that's just what they deserve.

*AMERICAN'S

Racial Characteristics:
Mostly fat, relatively ignorant of the real world, and with a national
paranoia that they wish they had all been born English. :-p



>Good Points:
>It's relatively easy to make yourself understood with them.
>
>Proper Forms of Address:
>Limey, lime-eater, pom, poof, sister-boy.
>
>An Anecdote Illustrating Something of the English Character:
>In his unpublished memoirs, Benjamin Disraeli tells the story of a
>political conference with then-Prime Minister William Gladstone, who
>habitually conducted such private discussions while being fellated by an
>able-bodied seaman of the Royal Navy. At one point during their talk,
>the sailor suddenly looked up from Gladstone's penis and said, "Excuse
>me, Sir, but you've come."
>"By Jove, so I have," said Gladstone, and he gave the tar a sovereign. "
>
>Pat

--

Christopher
.

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