Who's Who of Lame

illywhacker wrote:
Reef Fish wrote:
RF> That proved that you LIED. Marquis has many Who's Who books but
RF> you DO NOT get to write your own entry in Who's Who in the WORLD.

I quote from the web page:

"Who's Who in the World provides instant access to over 50,000
personal profiles-reviewed, revised, and proofread by the listees
themselves-providing guaranteed accuracy and immediacy."

Providing guaranteed hagiography. Presumably one cannot actually write
fiction, but adding a degree of spin would certainly be possible.

It is not only possible, but it has been proven:


The Hall of Lame
Tucker Carlson, 03.08.1999

MICHAEL BOLANOS MADE IT INTO Who's Who in America last year. To
celebrate, Bolanos, who runs a celebrity-oriented website in New York,
fired off a full-page press release to "entertainment and business
editors" heralding his triumph. "To be chosen for inclusion," read the
release, "candidates must have held a position of responsibility or
have attained a significant achievement in their field." Who's Who,
Bolanos reminded the editors, is a "guide to today's most influential
people."

Congratulations, Mr. Bolanos. Now meet Anita Dawn Sawyer, a fellow
influential person of significant achievement who also recently earned
a place in Who's Who in America. Sawyer, a 1986 graduate of the
University of Central Arkansas, teaches junior high school special
education classes in Little Rock. Since 1991 she's coached bowling and
floor hockey in the Alpena (Arkansas) Special Olympics. According to
Who's Who, her hobbies include cooking, reading, crafts, playing piano
and singing.

Or say hello to Stephen Geiman, who teaches gym at Wilson Memorial High
School in Fishersville, Virginia. From 1970 to 1972, Geiman, a graduate
of the physical education program at Appalachian State University, was
the school's driver's ed instructor. Or David Dolsen, an undertaker in
Denver. Or Amy Fung, an accountant from Staten Island. And let's not
forget Mary Morgan, a 55-year-old social worker in Elizabethtown,
Kentucky. Or Lila Licens, an administrative assistant from Tacoma,
Washington, who has been president of the Mt. Rainier chapter of
Professional Secretaries International since 1994. Or Courtland Paul, a
landscape architect in San Juan Capistrano, who implores Who's Who
readers to "Be on time, produce more than is expected and always,
ALWAYS be fair!!!" And of course there's Marguerite Gearhart, a school
nurse in Jupiter, Florida, who lists among her myriad accomplishments a
1968-69 stint as "co-leader" of a Campfire Girls troupe. Never heard of
these people? Then you haven't read Who's Who lately.

Not that anybody has read Who's Who lately, or ever, at least not very
closely. The point of Who's Who is not to read it, but to be in it. One
hundred years after it was first published by Chicago newspaper
publisher Albert Nelson Marquis (who despite his ostensible commitment
to accuracy pronounced his name "Markwis"), Who's Who has been a fairly
reliable guide to who has made it and who has not. That's been the
marketing strategy, anyway. Flip through the latest volume, however,
and it's hard not to conclude that something has changed, that the
selection criteria for "Honored Biographees" in Marquis's Who's Who
have become--how to put it?--more democratic.

Though the number of entries in Who's Who in America has grown to over
100,000 in recent years, the publication has tried hard to convey the
impression that standards for inclusion have remained the same. Being
accepted into Who's Who is "an honor that only a select few ever
enjoy," the company boasts. Every person in the book is subjected to
"painstaking selection, research, rigorous nominee review, and thorough
editorial review." And who does the painstaking nominating and
selecting? Marquis implies that members of the publication's Board of
Advisors play a large role in the nomination process, but they don't
seem to know much about it.

"The reality is, I don't do anything," says John Fox Sullivan,
publisher of National Journal and a member of the board for the last
decade. "There is almost no communication back and forth. Once a year I
get a piece of paper asking me if I want to recommend someone. It's not
as if there's an annual retreat somewhere where we sit around and
decide who makes it this year. Or if there is, I haven't been invited."


Mindy Aloff, a dance critic whose name is also on Who's Who letterhead,
seems to have been left off the guest list, too. "They didn't give us
any guidelines for nominating people," says Aloff, who rarely forwards
names to the publication.

Then who is making the decisions? Paul Canning, the publication's
editorial director from 1992 to 1997, wouldn't give a specific answer,
though he did say that the admissions process is relatively simple.
According to Canning, in order to become an Honored Biographee in Who's
Who in America, the flagship Marquis publication, a person must meet
"qualitative and quantitative criteria." An artist, for instance, "will
have to have pieces in multiple collections at recognized museums and
have one-person shows. For Fortune 500 companies, senior vice
presidents and above are listed." Some people, said Canning, make the
cut automatically. "We have a thick binder of all the people who must
be included, like artistic directors at ballet companies in major U.S.
cities, or CEOs of Fortune 1000 companies. We look for writers on The
New York Times best-seller list. We have Nobel Prize winners, Oscar
winners."

Fair enough. But Who's Who in America also appears to contain a lot of
relatively unaccomplished people who simply nominated themselves. To
make the process of self-promotion easier, Reed Elsevier, the
publication's parent company and the owner of Lexis-Nexis, now has a
site on the Internet where would-be biographees can complete a
"biographical data form." Spaces are provided for "career history," as
well as for "awards, honors, and grants." Applicants who are
uncomfortable with sending personal information over the Web are
invited to fax their biographies to a number provided on the screen.

There's not a word about qualitative or quantitative criteria. Does
everyone who applies get into Who's Who? "I'll say a majority,"
admitted Canning, "but I can't get any more detailed than that. I think
the majority are appropriate for one of our regional or topical
publications. I think I need to leave it at that." In other words, just
about everyone who tries hard enough will get his name in print.

Donald Ray Grubbs of Portland, Texas, is proof that persistence pays
off. From 1973 to 1986, Donald Ray worked as a pipe fitter and welder
for the Pipefitters Local 195 in Beaumont. Now an employee of Longview
Inspection, a company that assesses the structural integrity of
industrial sites, Grubbs has been appearing in various Who's Who
publications for a decade or so. Only a couple of years ago, he said,
was he "elected" to Who's Who in America. "You work up the chain of
Who's Who documents," Grubbs explained. "I was in Who's Who in American
Education, Who's Who in the World, and then Who's Who in America." When
we talked to Grubbs, he had just received a letter indicating that he
had been inducted into yet another volume, Who's Who in the South and
Southwest. He sounded pleased. "I have nothing but praise to say about
them because I think they're serving a good job. People like me who
really don't get out there in the limelight, this is one of our ways of
getting a little bit of recognition. And it feels good." So good,
Grubbs said, that he has purchased a number of Who's Who products over
the years, including a commemorative wall plaque. (The plaque, he
confided, wasn't of the highest quality.) Yet despite his achievements
in the world of Who's Who, Grubbs doesn't put on airs. "I don't profess
to be a nationally recognized welding instructor," he said. On the
other hand, Grubbs pointed out, neither are a lot of other people in
the book. "Probably half of the welding staff at Ohio State University
are members of Who's Who."

Nationally recognized welding instructor or not, Donald Ray Grubbs
seems like a fairly straightforward person, which is more than can be
said for many of his fellow biographees. As most of those listed in the
book know, entries in Who's Who are mostly self-reported and largely
unchecked, making it the ideal place to tidy up an uneven educational
or work history. When Larry Lawrence, the late ambassador to
Switzerland, wanted to replace his years at Wilbur Wright Junior
College with a degree from the University of Arizona, he turned to
Who's Who. Unfortunately for Lawrence, he got greedy, giving himself a
membership in a veterans association to back up his spurious war
history and a spot on the Nobel Peace Prize Nominating Commission
before he was finally caught (though not by Who's Who) and exhumed from
his grave at Arlington cemetery. Pamela Harriman, another deceased
ambassador, never completed college, but claimed in Who's Who to have
done post-graduate work at the Sorbonne. To this day, columnist Carl
Rowan lists 22 different college degrees in his entry, none of them
identified as honorary. According to Who's Who, Rowan graduated from
three different colleges in 1966 alone, all while working as a
syndicated columnist.

Not all attempts at r&eacutesum&eacute laundering are so blatant,
though some are considerably more sinister. In 1995, someone at the
Anti-Defamation League of B'nai B'rith noticed that Willis Carto,
founder of the lunatic Liberty Lobby, was listed in Who's Who as a
"publishing executive." Although the ADL promptly notified Marquis that
Carto's publishing ventures consisted of printing anti-Semitic tracts,
his entry was not dropped until 1998. ("He never did buy the book,"
chuckles Carto's spokesman.)

In the mid-1980s, Joe Queenan, then at American Business magazine,
decided to test the Who's Who fact-checking apparatus. Queenan
submitted an application on behalf of a nonexistent magazine editor
named R.C. Webster. Webster, Queenan wrote, had graduated with a master
of fine arts degree from F&M T&A University and received doctorates
from Quaker State University and the University of Ron (Ron, France)
before moving on to edit such magazines as American Business,
Latin-American Business, The Business of Business, Your Business and
Our Business Monthly. Webster and his wife, the former Trish Abigail
Boogen, had children named Cassette, Lothar, Skippy and Boo-Boo. A
member of the Association of Men and the Bureau of People, he listed
his hobby as "managing editing." Who's Who printed most of the entry in
its following edition.

It was an embarrassing episode for Marquis, and thanks to improved
scrutiny, most of the people listed in Who's Who in America these days
almost certainly exist. But the book is still not edited thoroughly,
which means that many entries are printed at lengths curiously out of
proportion to their importance. Margaret Estelle Vorous, for example,
an elementary school librarian in Berkeley Springs, West Virginia, who
counts among her achievements being a blood donor, receives 49 lines in
Who's Who. Henry Kissinger gets only 34. Anita Dawn Sawyer of Harrison,
Arkansas, meanwhile, gets twice the space of Diane Sawyer of ABC News,
who is listed three entries down.

Still, with 105,000 biographies, there are bound to be worthwhile
tidbits buried in Who's Who in America, and there are. Who, for
instance, apart from girls who grew up in the '80s, knew that Pat
Benatar's real name was Pat Andrzejewski? Or that the rap singer Ice
Cube was born O'Shea Jackson? And it's undeniably interesting--if a
little sad--to learn that Playboy founder Hugh Hefner was first married
way back in 1949. Other "facts" in the volume make for less
scintillating reading.

Indeed, the first clue that Who's Who is a vanity publication is the
"Thoughts on My Life" feature that appears beneath some entries. This
is the part where biographees are invited to reflect upon their
achievements using their own words. It's all pretty amusing, and it
must be profitable, too, because Marquis recently decided to expand the
concept. For $150, those listed in Who's Who in America can now write
up to 200 words about themselves and their work. A 1997 direct-mail
pitch suggests that biographees use the "Enhanced Biography" option to
draft their own personal classified ads, sure to be seen by "industry
leaders and executive recruiters." "Over 22 years of progressively
responsible experience in the food service industry in key
decision-making sales and marketing roles," reads one sample entry.
"Recent accomplishments include successful product introductions into
local markets, which generated $12.3 million growth in annual
incremental sales." Perhaps "executive recruiters" really do pore over
Who's Who looking to fill highly paid CEO slots. Or perhaps not. Either
way, it's hard to see how information like this is valuable to
reference librarians, the group for whom the volume is ostensibly
written.

That is, until you notice the large number of librarians who are listed
in Who's Who in America. "We think librarians are important," explained
Paul Canning. "We think they contribute to society." They are certainly
in a position to contribute to Who's Who. The ever-growing Marquis list
now includes 20 different Who's Who volumes, including various CD-ROM
versions, many of which are updated annually. A single three-volume
edition of Who's Who in America can cost more than $500. A three-year
subscription to the entire Who's Who product line goes for $5,686.
Suddenly it becomes clear how Ruth Ferro-Nyalka, a librarian at the
Hinsdale (Illinois) public library, might have breezed through
"Marquis' unique and time-proven compilation process" to earn a spot in
Who's Who in America.

Which is not to imply that vain librarians are Marquis's only source of
income. The company won't say who buys its books, or even how many
copies it prints. "I will not elaborate on anything about Who's Who to
someone over the phone," said publisher Randy Mysel, brusquely. "A fax
won't do it, either." A call to the company's business office proves
more fruitful. Who's Who, it turns out, does a pretty good business
renting the names and addresses of its 250,000 Honored Biographees to
direct mail marketers. People who are listed in Who's Who, Marquis
assures marketers in its promotional literature, "are interested in
many types of offers," including pitches for new credit cards, magazine
subscriptions, catalogues, association memberships and "fundraising
opportunities." The entire database can be rented on computer tape for
about $22,000. Or, the woman on the phone says, the list can be broken
down by profession, sex, political affiliation or religion. There are
17,600 self-identified Catholics in Who's Who, she explains by way of
example, and 5,300 Jews.

It must be a good list, since many Honored Biographees clearly have a
weakness for ordering schlocky products through the mail. Marquis makes
certain they have plenty to buy. The company's "Reflections of Success"
catalog advertises an entire line of Who's Who-related junk, from Who's
Who lapel pins (at $52.95 plus shipping and handling, they "quietly
declare your accomplishments") to Who's Who key rings, paperweights and
crystal boxes. The home office seems to do a particularly brisk
business in commemorative wall plaques, which at close to $100 apiece
doubtless make for a profitable little sideline.

One of the latest offerings from Marquis is the Who's Who/Chevy Chase
Bank MasterCard. Cardholders are eligible for a discount on any
merchandise they buy from the Who's Who catalogue, which brings the
entire enterprise full circle. I'm not listed in any of the Who's Who
volumes, but I decided to order one anyway, mostly to see if I could. I
could. The moment my MasterCard arrived, I called Who's Who. "One
sterling lapel pin, please," I said. "I'm interested in quietly
declaring some of my achievements." "Which book are you included in?"
the woman asked. None, I said. She didn't seem fazed in the slightest.
"Well, you have to be listed," she said brightly. "But you can talk to
the editorial department about that. I'll transfer you."


<http://www.forbes.com/fyi/1999/0308/063.html>


One CANNOT request to be included in that Who's Who in the World
either. The Editors of the volume seeks out the listees...

Indeed. One must be invited, as I was, as you were. I declined. You
accepted.

So was Donald Ray Grubbs, a "World Recognized" Welder :-)

Reefy also joins Margaret Estelle Vorous, an elementary school
librarian in Berkeley Springs, West Virginia, who counts among her
achievements being a blood donor: she received 49 lines in Who's Who,
when Henry Kissinger gots only 34. And Anita Dawn Sawyer of Harrison,
Arkansas, a Junior High School Special Ed teacher, had twice the space
of Diane Sawyer of ABC News.

Most intellectuals figured out that Who's Who is a vanity pub before
they turn 25 years old. Reefy's three times that age and still
believes in Marquis, Santa, and the Easter Bunny.


You not only can't show any EDUCATIONAL background in Statistics,...

Neither can you. No one can: this is the Internet. All you can do is
make unprovable claims.

Reefy can't even show that he has ever done any real applied work in
Statistics. Those papers that weren't "co-authored" consist merely of
magazine reviews of software applications and letters to editors.

.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: Burmese generals deserve to be flogged: US Congressman - Lalit K Jha
    ... Well, Mogyothwar, if everyone should mind his/her own business then ... States of America, because he was elected by nthem.Besides, if he does ... The cost of producing one barrel of oil is one is US dollar, ... If you are in the United States of America, ...
    (soc.culture.burma)
  • What is Right in America
    ... What is Right in America ... corporate business practices in addition to receiving academic and career ... Joseph C. Phillips is an actor/writer with a conservative bent based in Los ...
    (soc.culture.african.american)
  • Citigroups Footbal Madness
    ... Banks across America are laying off Americans by the tens of thousands ... most of the banks getting our bailouts have overseas tax ... All are just fancy ways of saying that we should play the game of ... business without any rules other than those defined by the ...
    (misc.news.internet.discuss)
  • Re: Evangelicals for Obama?
    ... prefer a quick buck than a strong America. ... how to make money by investing and trading can still manage to pull it off. ... and three more words: Commodity Index ETF's. ... dump it at a bargain and put all the employees out of business. ...
    (rec.music.gdead)
  • Re: Cowboys herding cats
    ... miscarriages of justice in America in the last fifteen years must run ... Google finds one page mentioning both Marquis and that quote, ... It's in a reply to Marquis on a blog. ...
    (rec.arts.sf.fandom)